Happy Halloween
I don’t hate Joe Buck anymore. I hate Cris Collinsworth. Now he’s the voice I dread the most every Sunday.
What’s worse is he’s always the last voice I hear on football Sundays. You can straight up ignore Buck on Sunday if you watch a different game. You can’t ignore him during TNF, which sucks, but TNF is like a weird side dish of football. SNF gets all the hype and push and after a long day of watching glorious sport, you get stuck with lavish production for one more game that sucks half the time with Collinsworth’s nasal catastrophe whining over it.
And he gets worse every year. He’s still stuck to a bunch of irritating phrases like HERES A GUY and various other cliches. Every genuine insight he has into a player/team gets drowned out in a sea of self-congratulatory reflection or worse, run into the ground. His habit of picking one or two players every game to just not shut up about has gotten even worse. During the Bucs/Pats game earlier this year, He probably said Mac Jones every other sentence and it felt like the Mac Jones association must have been his sponsor for the week because he hyped him up harder than a youtuber paid to endorse Raid Shadow Legends. Mac Jones had a fairly okay game that night. He got lots of completions but also never threw much farther than 5 yards downfield. The level of praise Collinsworth was putting on him was laughable.
A few weeks later, with Russ out after injuring his finger, I could feel that Collinsworth would talk more about Russell Wilson during the Hawks/Steelers game than any other player. I was right! It makes sense to discuss how a team is missing its most vital piece during a broadcast…occasionally, when appropriate. Nah. Every offensive series had shots of Russ on the sideline and Collinsworth bringing him up as if Geno Smith wasn’t playing. A player who isn’t in the game being played shouldn’t be the main topic of a 3 hour broadcast.
He’s horrible about Patrick Mahomes too. Mahomes has had a bad year (for him) and he still got more praise than Josh Allen did, during the game when Josh Allen was kicking his ass. Collinsworth still compares every neat one-handed grab to Odell Beckham even though Beckham hasn’t been relevant for like 4 years. Collinsworth is the only broadcaster I can’t seem to tune out but actively have to mute. Buck, at his worst, was still fairly easy to ignore. Aikman, who still sucks and fumbles for words every play, is still easier to ignore. Mark Schlereth, who might be the dumbest broadcaster, can still largely be tuned out. Collinsworth’s voice is like a kazoo got stuck in a vacuum hose and then said TOM BRADY 60 times in one quarter. Collinsworth sounds like the kid who asked the teacher if they forgot to give out homework became a football broadcaster.
Collinsworth isn’t dumb. He provides some actual great commentary from time to time and I appreciate how he highlights lesser understood or respected aspects of a game, such as line play. But he’s like a subscription box you didn’t sign up for that has one thing you want in a sea of things you don’t and now you have a big pile of trash you don’t know what to do with and trash doesn’t pick up till next Wednesday and nobody else wants the stuff either.
Happy Halloween!
For me, my auto-mute is Mark Schlereth. He NEVER. STOPS. TALKING.
Can’t disagree with most of this, but still hate Joe Buck more. At least Collinsworth is actually INTERESTED in the game he’s commenting on. Joe Buck always sounds like he’d rather be anywhere else.
Thankfully I root for an AFC team. And for TNF there’s always Storm/Kremer, who are infinitely better, if only for the same reason.
I feel like Chris Collinsworth is part of the reason why you see so many fans that are quick to turn on really good players. Imagine watching a primetime broadcast that is just 3 hours of nonstop ass-kissing of one guy. Happened with Brady for many years. Happened with Rodgers. Now it’s Mahomes. I get the love for watching talented players but holy hell man, we don’t need to hear you cream himself over how someone breathes every other snap.
Also, I’m glad to see people are starting to come around on Joe Buck. I get much of the hate in the past but he’s improved quite a bit over the last decade. Probably because he’s sucking the life out of Aikman but whatever I guess.
I agree. Collinsworth’s voice seems to get have gotten louder and more irritating over the years. I find myself having to put the volume down when Collingsworth starts babbling. (I don’t mute it completely because I still want to hear what Al Michaels has to say.)
I used to be worried that I disliked Collinsworth because he nakedly hates on every AFCN team other than the Bengals, to the point where he sounds like he should be on their radio team and not a national TV broadcast. Thanks for confirming that it’s not just me.
Also, you have to get the speech pattern right. “NAOW HERE’S A GUUUUY”
I agree, I don’t really mind Joe Buck anymore, Collinsworth is garbage. His love of Antonio Brown is disgusting.
There’s a video of Collinsworth from his playing days talking about actively trying to hook up with 14-18 year old girls
“Here’s a guy who makes all the plays you have to make in the National Football League.” His comments are worse than silence.
Also, here’s Collinsworth describing dating high school girls:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WC8Elk1LRjs
Even at Buck’s worst, he’s still an institution. We’ll talk about him when he’s gone, not in a good way, but we’ll still bring up his comical overbearingness and smarm. Collinsworth? I think we’ll largely forget him outside of “now here’s a guy”, and that is perhaps even worse. He’s football Steve Garvey and I’m not sure who ever wanted to see him on TV to begin with.
For the Eagles only Super Bowl win Chris Collinsworth was the drunk uncle at the wedding. He didn’t ruin it by any stretch, but things would have been more fun if he wasn’t there. The entire time it felt like he couldn’t see the game that was actually happening; so blinded was he by the Patriots shiny legacy.
Concerning the hover text: It’s only Al Michaels until you reach 3 shots. Then Marshawn appears
Whatever the complaints about Collinsworth are, they don’t reach my ears because he has a million miles to go before he’s a tenth as bad as Madden was for the last decade of his career. Having had Red Zone for the last dozen seasons and kept track of who was calling each game, I’ve gotten some exposure to every announcer out there. There are a lot who are worse than Buck or Collinsworth, they’re just stuck on the low end games where people don’t hear them.
There are also a lot who are better, and that’s kind of the point.
The NFL needs more Ross Tucker and Kevin Harlan.
now see the key to winning this game will be who puts more points on the board after 60 minutes
Madden needed put out to pasture, but no one had the authority to tell the legend he had lost it. Went from the best announcer to the worst in like 4 years then hung on for another 6. I once heard him liken a play to a leftover ham sandwich…
Are we getting a Schefter comic? Guy is losing his robotic edge
On Thursday nights we listen to Andrea Kremer and Hannah Storm covering the game on Amazon Prime instead. SO much better.
https://apnews.com/article/nfl-andrew-hawkins-andrea-kremer-hannah-storm-football-f476b2a371d13cf854b5adad5bcca6d5
I’ll never forgive Collinsworth for fucking up the Buttfumble call.
Wilfork did NOT beat Moore on that play. That was completely Sanchez’ fault.
I like to imagine that when Collinsworth slides into frame at the beginning of each broadcast he had just finished taking a few huge bong rips. Makes his silly antics much more palatable when you assume he’s just Al’s high friend.
Mac Jones… Mac Jones… Mac Jones!!! Mac Jones!!! Mac Jones? Mac Jones
Collinsworth was in one of the Madden games we had in college. I don’t think I realized how bad it was before then but less than a week after purchasing the game we had to mute the commentary. Madden might have said the same things over and over again, but at least he ranked high in the unintentional comedy department.