United States Travel Woes
So, instead of drawing a comic yesterday, here is what happened instead!
-Went to NYC for the weekend. Wife was running the Marathon. She did it. The Giants beat the Eagles. Everyone was happy.
-Had a flight out Sunday Morning from Newark to Portland via Denver
-Flight was delayed by 2 hours. A problem, because now the flight is scheduled to land in Denver about 2 minutes after the connecting flight leaves for Portland
-Wife has plat status on United thanks to frequent travel with her job. Calls the customer service desk, makes sure we get a backup flight in Denver a few hours later in case we miss the connection as expected. So now we have 2 flights. We are on the first PDX flight should we make it, and a backup with bad seats in case we don’t. Booked safely on both.
-We booked our flights as one reservation. But because Wife is plat status, she was upgraded to TSA pre-check, and because United is stupid, that actually split us up seatwise, the gate agent can’t help, and now I’m stuck in the middle seat in economy for a 4 hour flight
-At this point I’d like to remind everyone I’m 6’4, planes and middle seats aren’t a good situation
-Flight to Denver has me stuck next to some fatso whose big ass elbows naturally sat on the little armrest remote for the TV screen, which meant for the whole flight (even after I sad something) my TV was constantly changing channels, brightness, etc
-Reach the gate, find out that the original connection flight was also delayed! Success! United has screwed and saved us!
-We immediately go up to the gate clerk. The flight is delayed because they have to replace an engine part. That’s something you like to hear. The flight is already half boarded, there are poor people stuck on that plane that should have left 2 hours ago. Good job United
-Gate clerk informs us that we are still indeed booked on this plane, so we don’t have to wait for the 7pm flight.
-This is okay. We paid good money to upgrade to 1st class for this final leg, and we get to do it. And eat dinner on the plane, and we hadn’t had time to eat since 9am
-Get in line when plane begins to board again
-boarding passes dont work, we aren’t on the plane according to the computer
-Go back to gate clerk. She informs us that we are still on the plane, but without seats
-Apparently when we called the instant platinum member service number and made sure to fix our booking, it actually removed us from our seats and gave away the seats. So the seats we paid extra for are now full.
-We say f-it and get the two seats left anyway
-Once again, the two of us are split up. So now I’m stuck in another middle seat trying desperately to not have my lanky frame annoy the people next to me, and she’s stuck way far behind me in a window seat, miserable, because her whole body is sore because she ran 26.2 miles the day before.
-United should refund the money for the seats we didn’t use, but if they don’t, I’m going to make a comic about this and put it here and then shame them on social media and hope people notice
-We were supposed to get into Portland around 5:30, enough time for me to whip up a joke about the Vikings
-We got back 30 minutes ago, at 9pm, and we are both wrecked
-so here is a picture of me falling asleep in Denver
Happy election day, go vote you assholes. Also find a fallout shelter because it doesn’t matter who wins the aftermath is going to be fire.
Get a good night’s rest!
Given the chaos that’s coming, I hope Hilldog and Trumpkin get under 268 or under each, with McMullin getting Utah, because the only thing that would make this election cycle more complete in disastrous theme would be a dude winning the White House off 6 Electoral votes and under 10% of the total vote.
Same, except fuck McMullin. Johnson is a far superior option than a CIA narc propped up by moderate Republicans to stop a third party from taking their party support from them.
Johnson to get new mexico
Sanders to get Vermont, New Hampshire, and Rhode Island as a write-in
Cheney gets a third term.
…and Justice for All
THERE’S SEVEN BILLION OF US NOT IN AMERICA TOO Y’KNOW. Get the FUCK out there and VOTE. Because you KNOW this moron will as well. Go on, witness the benefits of an IQ with a MINUS sign in front of it: http://bit.ly/2fzlBNK
You’re not part of the Clinton network, are you?
Tom Brady is the GOAT
TL;DR: Flying United sucks
Congrats to the wife. My brother ran it too. 5:05:44
Sadly, United is still the best American major airline now that they’re using Continental’s people and infrastructure. They used to be completely awful.
Southwest and Delta are better IMO
Too bad you didn’t schedule your flight for Thursday, since combining your horror flight w/watching the Browns game is a perfect experience.
Airline companies and the election are cut from the same cloth. You’re never really picking a good choice, just the least shitty of what is available.
Dave, you have good taste in rugged shoes.
Jeeze man, I feel for you on so many levels. I was just in DIA waiting for a delayed United (Untied) flight myself, and I’m 6’3″ with the same problem with middle seats. At least I’m from Colorado. Hope you get some rest.
United makes it a pain to get valid refunds. I was basically in the same situation– paid for a seat upgrade, but due to unforseen circumstance (another passenger’s medical emergency) the flight was grounded, and the next one just had regular seats. Not a huge deal, just a few hours of discomfort, and I’d surely get the upgrade cost refunded right?
NOPE! They offered basically 10% of the cost. It took weeks. First big step was calling them out on Twitter (that immediately got me contacted by a real customer service agent), but even after that they straight up lied a number of times, tried to tell me it wasn’t possible, etc. Finally after pushing enough they did give me the full refund, but they “accidentally” only credited half the cost. One more call to point out the “mistake” and I finally got the rest
So be ready for a long drawn out process. My advice would be;
1. Definitely use twitter, this website, & any other social media to call them out
2. When you get contacted by the advanced customer support, they should give you a cell number to reach that agent during business hours. Don’t be shy– I had to call that number almost once a day, but at least the person on the other end there does actually pick up & seem to want to help.
3. Don’t give up! They’ll lie & mislead but that’s just to weed out the people who don’t have hours to waste on it
Good luck!
All I wanted was a Travis Kelce comic. Instead Dave is a “broken shell of a man”.
Maybe if Travis Kelce played for a team that exists….
Sports humor is all about kissing up to the big cities. I’m sure Dave wants to draw up something hilarious about it, but it’s in Kansas City, the belly button of the country. BIG CITIES
Maybe you should stop claiming Brady isn’t the GOAT. 😉
Montana
But Brady isn’t a goat, he’s a human.
And so it begins. He’s married now, and the comics will stop to flow and be slowly replaced my Instagram stories about getting up at midnight to buy watermelon sherbert for his pregnant wife or something. Book it, Print the shirts
Happened to brawl in the family.
#MakeNewEnglandDeflateAgain