Happy 5th of July
Jul05
on July 5, 2024
at 12:01 am
I hope everyone who types a comment still has all their fingers.
While I was trying to find a fairly recent picture of JPP so I could get his current hair correct, I learned that he’s apparently not retired yet? He was on the Ravens for a single season but I guess he was on the Saints practice squad and then was on the Dolphins roster for a month in 2023 before getting waived. I don’t know why he hasn’t hung it up yet. He has nothing left to prove. He won a Super Bowl with two different teams, and the second one was at what most players would probably consider the twilight. Dude can rest. You did it bud, you don’t have to push yourself.
Unless he’s broke and still needs the paychecks. Get the bag then buddy.
Dude casually had one of the most underrated defensive seasons ever back in the second Pats SB year. The streets will never forget JPP and the other monsters on those D-lines.
JPP/Tuck/Osi was absolutely unfair.
If he’s stupid enough to hold fireworks in his hand, he probably did a bunch of dumb things with his money, lol.
I was going to suggest he’s saving up for the best cybernetic hand on the market, but those apparently top out around $130k, so maaaaaaaybe he’s dumping millions into research for developing the next level hand replacement. Honestly, that’s what I would do in his case.
Being filthy rich with two Super Bowl rings is NOTHING compared to having both of your hands intact. Case in point, if given the chance to trade situations with him, I straight up would tell him to F off, lol. Ain’t no amount of money worth giving up being able to play video games and feed yourself.
He’s missing two fingers on one hand not losing both hands and getting lobotomized. Also I dont know what your situation is but saying you’d rather be able to eat individual cheez-it’s and play Minecraft seems like you lost a grip on reality and seems a little entitled. My bad if I took the tone the wrong way but just seems a little out of touch
Man, why people keep coming at me like I took out their family this week, lol??? It’s a 100% subjective statement, my dude. I prefer my hands with all the fingers attached over 2 trophies and money. If that seems entitled to you… ok? Some people would prefer losing their vision over their hearing, or their toes over their looks. I don’t think it makes someone entitled to prioritize one facet of their physical abilities over fame and glory.
Many that blow their fingers off deserve lobotomies. Some that have lobotomies deserve to have their fingers blown off. Can you give it to them, Kaepernick’s Pet Tortoise? Do not be too eager to deal out lobotomies in judgment, even the very wise cannot see all ends. =P
I realize you were trying to do a wise-sounding koan at the end there (which also doesn’t work since they never suggested that anyone get a lobotomy in the first place), but what in the blue hell does “Some that have lobotomies deserve to have their fingers blown off.” even mean?
I struggled on whether the transition was clear enough to show that the second paragraph is silly. I counted on people being able to recognize it was a Gandalf quote and piecing together it’s nonsensical. Sigh, and there goes the joke. It’s ruined Andre, ruiuuined!!!! (That ones from Phantom) I used a few word swaps because it amused me, lololol.
To your question… ayunno. I just like the sound of it!
I mean, I was holding those little crackle balls and throwing them after I lit them but those aren’t going to do a whole lot. You’ll burn your hand and it’ll kinda suck for a few days but I doubt you’ll lose anything. Anything more heavy duty than that though, and it was firmly on the concrete or asphalt.
Going broke while playing in the NFL is rough. Unless you had a dozen kids how the heck did you blow that money?
the down with JPP made me snort out loud. Well played.