Gronkowski Enjoys The Belmont
I think my favorite thing about Rob Gronkowski’s obsession with the number 69 is that every news outlet has to report on it because #content, but they all have to be coy about the number’s meaning in the process. So you have big newspapers and respectable media outlets talking about the number 69, deliberately, but trying very hard to not quite make it clear that yes, they are talking about a number that references a sexual position. It’s just funny to see. Here’s an example. Maybe Rob Gronkowski has played us all. We are but pawns in his very nice game.
Anyway there was a horse named Gronkowski in the Belmont. Gronkowski is actually fairly mild for a horse name to be honest. The Belmont took place on June 9th, aka 6/9.
Gronkowski opened at 69-1 odds to win.
Gronk himself bet 69 dollars on Gronkowski.
Gronk won $950 for his joke bet after Gronkowski got second place.
What a world we live in.
I guess Justify also won the Triple Crown so like, good for him I guess. No glue factory for you. I’ve seen two triple crowners in my lifetime and I’m thoroughly unimpressed by it now.
It’s a crime Gronk doesn’t wear the #69.
Anyway what are the funniest football horse names you can think of? Horse names are fun.
Deflator
Discount Double Check
Hailed Mary
Punt Muffer
Fresh Brees
Illegal Formation
Spider Banana
England footballer Wayne Rooney wanted to call his horse Norfolk Enchants.
Then of course there’s the classic Hoof Hearted.
And there was one recent gem from the QI Twitter feed @qikipedia of a horse two centuries back named Potoooooooo, because of a registration fuckup. The owner wanted to call it Potato, but it went down as Pot-8-O’s
Fair Klopp
There’s a very famous UK horse called “Mental as Anything”.
When the owner was asked why he gave it that name, he replied “Because they wouldnt let me call it Mental as Fuck”
Take a Neigh
Haha! Clinton Dicks.
Night Cart Lane
Jake Butt
Neutral Zone Infraction
“Racehorse or Band Name” could be a game show. So could “Racehorse or Craft Beer”.
Bofa Deez Nutz.
No joke, someone named a horse that and raced it.
It’s Gronk’s world and we’re all just living in it.
I remember growing up and seeing all of those Viagra commercials and I always kept saying “take it when you are ready for WHAT?” It’s funny how the act of sex is such taboo on tv commercials.
Odell-mont
It’s very clear from the past couple of weeks that the off season has officially broken Dave.
Come back, football. You are terrible but we love you anyway.
c’mon guys, “Butt Fumble” would be a great name for a horse
I’m all in on “Butt Fumble”. I would hope he would do crazy good to so I could repeatedly hear the announcers say Butt Fumble on live TV. I’d legit laugh out loud every time.
Butt Fumble by 3 lengths!
i second this motion
First-Round Draft Horse
Kenny Mane
Gelding Tate
I’m literally convinced that when Gronk dies it’s going to be on June 9th, 2069 (AKA 6/9/69). It’s only fitting at this point.
Matt Ryan, Shannon Sharpe and John Elway are my favoritr examples of famous horses with ties to the NFL
Johnny Furlong
history is literally made and dpd is “thoroughly unimpressed”
Why the hell is Gronk hitting on Elway. Does this mean hes teying to get traded to denver?
What does 69 mean. Do I even want to know?
Also I just wanted to say IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!!! I’m now a *shudder* teenager. Aka 13
Wooow lite it!