Farewell My Sweet Jim Tomsula
And there goes my favorite person to draw from the 2015 season. Goodnight sweet prince. May you fart in press conferences wherever your own wind takes you.
I feel bad for Jimmy Toms. Tums-ula (Tums for all his perpetual heartburn). Jimmy In Too Deep. Tommy Sula. Carl from Aqua Teen hunger force was in way over his head this year and it’s hard to blame him for the 49ers failures this season. Did anyone have real, genuine faith that a guy who looks like his favorite pair of pants is a gross old ripped grey thing he wears on weekends? If so, please give me your soul because your outlook on life is wonderful.
Tomsula never stood a chance. He was a poor pawn in a rich manbaby’s game. He didn’t belong in the head coaching job and I think everyone including himself knew that. His interviews were bad. He looked like a perpetual deer in the headlights on the sidelines. I think he went something like 2-10 on challenges. But we can’t blame him. Tomsula never looked comfortable and always looked like he wanted to be anywhere but on the sidelines during those games. I hope he gets another job in the NFL somewhere after this. He was a good d-line coach. He belongs as one of those color guys who can slip into the background and be ignored when the cameras point in his team’s direction.
His whole hiring feels like a drawn out sitcom episode. Jimmy plays the deadbeat dad who gets nagged by his wife Linda at home and pestered by his two kids. Then one day at work his boss gets fired by the clueless CEO and suddenly looks at Tomsula. The CEO calls him Jimmy Boy and likes the cut of his jib because he thinks everything Tomsula says is funny. Tomsula is just trying to escape but the CEO just keeps laughing harder, so he promotes Jimmy to coach for no valid reason and other people in the office get mad. Jimmy goes to work happy to be the man with the paycheck but realizes he’s in way over his head and has a comedy scene of trying to keep order on the sidelines. At one point he looks into the press box and sees the CEO, who gives him a smile and thumbs up, oblivious to the failures. Then when Jimmy thinks he might be okay, all of it goes wrong and he loses his job, but learns a very special lesson about family, then farts. Credits. The sitcom will be called “Getting By” and it will have a super good slap bass theme.
I would totally watch Getting By.
Why aren’t you working in Hollywood, Dave?
Yo Dave, as a fellow Giants fan, I’m curious to know what you think of Tom Coughlin’s stepping down? I feel bittersweet about it. Like, even though these last few years haven’t been super great and it was probably time for him to retire or whatever, I’m still kinda bummed. I liked him a lot.
I’m guessing we’ll see on Thursday
I dunno about that. I have a feeling he may do a comic on San Diego, Oakland, ans St. Louis all applying for relocation.
I feel like a Ringless Rivers joke can be worked into the SD relocation, but I’m not sure how.
Reading Tominusla in Carl’s voice will be the thing I miss most. Was there ever a full comic on fartgate?
Niners fans all knew he was being set-up for failure, that they just needed a “yes” man to get through this horrible season. Guess they thought a cult, fan favorite, rah rah, sideline guy might appease the fans for the season. But now I’m just pissed that we threw away a season of rebuilding and lost a good DL coach in the process.
There’s also rumors that he was the mole in the 2014 locker room that got Harbaugh fired, so maybe I’m glad he’s gone? God what a shit-show this season was, so glad it’s over.
I fear it was just the beginning…but agree with everything you said. And also why I don’t feel bad for Tomsula. There was so many reports about his insidious maneuverings that some of them must have had some truth to them. I wholeheartedly believe that the tweet from Harbaugh was meant for Tomsula, not Jed.
I think good old Jimmy T will be good with the 10.5 million dollar parachute he got for coaching for one year and going 5-11 🙂
We will probably see Eli and Ben torturing Rivers, or guys building a money Death Star…
BECAUSE JIM TOMSULA RIPPED ONE ONCE PUBLICLY, YOU SEE
Also, I thought the van should be replaced with Carl’s Dodge Stealth ES, a.k.a 2 Wycked.
Your sitcom seems fairly similar to the plot of “The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret”
I kind of feel bad for Tomsula. He never really got a chance, at least as a head coach.
Nice sunset!
I was really hoping for this to turn into the Football equivalent of Springtime For Hitler.