Eli Wins Best Son
As is tradition, I did not watch the pro bowl. Eli’s team won in the end. I’m going to pretend that means something. Eli is best son. I did watch the highlights and saw Peyton acting really mad about the end of the game like a petulant baby. Nobody cares, Peyton, it was a flag football game and you weren’t going to win.
So I’m not leaving this post with nothing, here’s the Super Bowl bet.
CHIEFS vs EAGLES
I think the Eagles are going to win. They have a better offensive line. Chris Jones will do his thing and probably disrupt a couple of drives, but the Eagles line is so stout (provided Lane Johnson holds up) that I think they will be able to wear the Chiefs down with consistency. Hurts is mobile and they use him well so they won’t be hamstrung if the line has issues. Honestly the thing is, it’s hard to find a specific weakness the Eagles have. The coaching is good. The QB is good (worse than Mahomes, obviously, but not bad). The offensive line is good. The run game is good. The defensive line is great. The backside of the defense is maybe its main weakness and I assume the Chiefs will exploit it and Mahomes will style on it for the occasional play, but it isn’t bad. The Chiefs have the edge in a couple of spots but not enough of an edge to really overcome the gulf. I wouldn’t be surprised if this game goes much like the previous Chiefs/Bucs SB where Mahomes was playing like a god but the team around him just wasn’t up to par with the competition. And Mahomes is hurt! He might be okay, but he won’t be 100%. Everything about this game screams Eagles unless Sirianni gets too smug and cute and Andy outcoaches him.
If the Eagles win, I will draw a large majestic eagle, Lombardi in beak, ridden by Hurts, carrying Andy Walrus through the skies
If the Chiefs win, I will draw an ancient Walrus god warrior, smiting an Eagle out of the sky
If Andy wins, does anyone else think he’ll retire afterwards
Being a Chiefs fan myself, I’d say we might be in good shape if Bienemy stays. Now, if he gets hired to some other faraway land, then we get Matt Nagy, and then everything will die.
I don’t see Andy retiring till Mahomes’ career winds down. He seems like one of those guys who needs football to live and only health problems and significant age will take him away.
I absolutely don’t want the chefs to win because they’re just awful, but that is the better of the two comic concepts, so if they do manage it at least there’s a consolation prize.
I can think of no better ending to this Super Bowl than the chefs taking the field, pots upon their brows and ladles in hand. Since they can’t play football, they will win by beating the ever-loving tar out of all the Chiefs and Eagles players.
I love this idea. The chefs can also wield their knives and rolling pins and wear their baking and serving trays as armor.
Lol hadn’t thought of that commercial in years “that’s great! But who are the Chefs?” “Great googly-moogly”
lol
FINALY THE NFC WON BLUE BABY
I think it’s either going to be Chiefs/SF where the defense holds Mahomes down for 3 quarters before Mahomes erupts and makes a comeback win or Chiefs/Bucs where Mahomes plays amazing but his teammates let him down and are outplayed by the opposition.
If Mahomes is at least 90% healthy they are going to smoke the Eagles. I just worry about his ankle.
I don’t think they’d smoke Philly even with a fully healthy Mahomes. Similar to the last two Super Bowls they’ve played in, this is just a really bad matchup all around when comparing team to team. Philadelphia has a ferocious front 7 that can get after the passer against even the best OLs (KC’s is solid but not elite) and they have insane depth on that front as well. Their secondary can also hold up extremely well too, which will make it a challenge on KC’s WR corps especially without that home run type X-Factor in Tyreek Hill.
I expect the offense to do better than they did against Tampa Bay, but this could end up being very much like SB54 where Mahomes struggles hard for 2-3 quarters before they attempt to mount a big comeback. They’re just going to need their defense to hold up in a situation like that, which is an even taller ask considering the Eagles are just as loaded on offense as they are defensively going up against a weaker front. Should be a fun game regardless.
The NFL needs to give up on trying to make the Pro Bowl into must-see TV. One of the biggest lies I see constantly is that people would watch it if the players actually tried and hit each other like it was a real game. Like no, you wouldn’t. People weren’t watching back when Sean Taylor and Ray Lewis were out there thumping people, so why would that change now?
At this point, the best thing to do is keep it as is with special challenges and flag football, move it back to 2 weeks after the Super Bowl so those guys can join in, and make it an NFL Network exclusive for the people that actually care. Or even make a it YouTube livestream. Also let people in Vegas come for free and try to get autographs and photos with their favorite players and just make it a fun event similar to the Super Bowl Expo they do every year. They won’t of course, because everything needs to make money, but this would be a far better option to what they have.
Given the crowd they drew yesterday and the TV ratings it typically gets (which remain absurdly good for the kind of thing it is, 6-10 million viewers!), I imagine the NFL will keep accepting money for the Pro Bowl.
I do like the idea of making it more like the Super Bowl Experience (though to be fair, even that costs $20 a ticket).
I’m surprised they haven’t already. I went to the Super Bowl Experience back in 2019 when the game was in Atlanta and it was a blast. Obviously the Pro Bowl isn’t as huge but I imagine you can do much of the same content with it.
There are SO MANY angry and dehumanizing comments about the Pro Bowl from this weird CHUD section of the NFL fandom.
“This is weak/embarrassing! How dare these players not grievously injure themselves in a competitively pointless game for my personal amusement?! The NFL HAS GONE SOFT!!!”
It’s like these people are offended by fun.
The Pro Bowl is basically the only time that a lot of those old-school tough guy fans can bitch and moan about rule changes to make the game safer and not be rightfully made fun of. Most fans found the product to be completely unwatchable over the last few years since it was basically touch football in pads and clearly no one out there gave half a shit nor tried. Give it another year and they’ll quit crying about this too.
I didn’t watch the pro bowl either, but from the people who did it sounds like it was better than usual. Apparently most players actually gave a crap, though no one seemed to know the rules other than Peyton. I did watch that same video and calling him a child is more of a Twitter take. I think he was in the moment as a top level competitor who hates losing and hates losing to his younger brother even more.
I do love the idea of the child ranking, fantastic last panel!
Yelling angrily about a rule that wont affect the outcome of a harmless, for fun flag football game because you cant handle losing to your baby brother is pretty childish to me, competitor or not
Why is Cooper on the bottom of the list?
There’s a curse that the MVP of a season doesn’t go on to win the bowl. It hasn’t happened this century I don’t think. If anyone can break I guess Mahomes can, but yeah if history holds up then this goes to the Santa beaters.
I think generally the events were pretty fun. I didn’t watch live, but I tuned into dodgeball and a few other strength/skill challenges on youtube here and there. If it’s something we have to keep, though, I need for everyone to be more clear on the rules. There were many times where the players didn’t know the rules and made confused faces at the refs. Times when they knew the rules, but the presenters didn’t who then had to scramble. Times when the rules were just dropped!
I don’t care what the rules are, but seeing TV presenters have to try to explain that the AFC didn’t technically win because they didn’t get their big heavy wall across the finish line, even though they were celebrating with pyro like they had (for example), is just a little annoying.