Eli Says Goodbye To Victor Cruz
So long, sweet Victor. No longer shall you Cruz the sidelines for touchdowns in a Giants uniform. It’s been 7 years since little Vicky was pulled off the street, caught some passes against the Jets and gave himself a place on this team. Then he got hurt, came back the next year, and was one of the most integral parts of a Super Bowl team that honestly probably had no business winning a Super Bowl. But he did anyway. Then for a couple years he was our only valid receiver as Rueben Randle farted away his talent and Hakeem Nicks’ knees died and he gave up trying. It didn’t suit Cruz well because he’s really only Cruz in the slot and he could have dropsies issues. Then one night against Philly in the saddest game I have ever watched, Cruz died. He resurrected this year and was a shell of himself, but still made a play or two. Now Victor Cruz is gone, and the fans will now go back to yelling Booooooo instead.
Honestly Cruz didn’t do a whole lot as a Giant outside 2011 if I’m being objective, but as a Giants fan it was hard not to love the guy. Hardworking undrafted local nobody comes in and becomes the WR phenom that helps the Giants win SB46, even had a touchdown in the game. A lot of fans will point to his awesome 99 yard TD against the Jets as his big highlight. or his welcome to the NFL moment against Philly when everyone learned who he was after he came in for the injured Dominik Hixon. The moment that always sticks out to me actually happened in an eventual loss, when he caught a juggler over Kam Chancellor and Richard Sherman. Cruz Control was a joy to watch and it’s a shame injuries happened to rob us of more Cruz time. He was always a really like-able person and player, well spoken and happy. I’ll miss the booze Cruz.
He’ll likely find a job as a slot guy on a WR starved team (Eagles, Ravens, Rams, Browns, maybe Titans or 49ers) but he also probably won’t do much more. The injury and time off with rehab took away most of what made him special, he no longer has that breakaway speed or cutting slice that let him juke fools out of their shoes. At best he’s a WR #3 now. I hope he finds some success and makes a little bank before it’s over, and he retires a Giant, because while we knew this was coming, we still love ya Victor. Don’t go to the Eagles or you’re dead to us. Also don’t pull a Tiki and diss Eli, because we have yet to forgive Tiki and we never will.
The Giants also cut Rashad jennings and Larry Donnell and I’m not very sad about either of those cuts so I doubt Eli makes them popsicles. Also in 5 years I’ve turned Eli into Ralph Wiggum, so I expect him to be a full idiot savant by the time he retires.
No days off.
There’s a wonderful irony about Bill Belichick yelling “no days off” at a crowd where 90% of the adults there took the day off to be there, while he’s part of a parade during which he’s clearly not doing draft scouting.
Scouting a Safety from NoName University from NoName, Montana
Drafted in the 5th round, turns into an all-pro, signs for big money in Philly, sucks for two years before being released in year three, Belichick re-signs him for cheap and he returns to all-pro form. The real Patriot Way.
Blitz for Six.
This IS something Eli would do
Jesus Christ, Dave, “you’re dead to us…” not “your dead…” ! Come on, man!
came here to post exactly that, my work is done
Same here. Also jennings should have a capital J.
A+ username
Don’t feel too bad for Cruz, Dave. He will probably be picked up by the patriots in the offseason (for half what the Giants were paying him) and catch 8 passes in next year’s super bowl…
Giants did cut Cruz
Tampa needs to cut Vincent Jackson (even if he is a great locker-room guy)
Yeah, almost forgot about him, VJ used to be soo freaking good, but I really haven’t heard his name mentioned at all in the last 2 years…
He was a fucking beast in SD, solid with noodle neck/McCown, non-existent with shameis
Victor Cruz salsa. You tweeted a drawing of that on my request like 5 years ago…
I honestly wished the Giants restructed his contract. He isn’t what he use to be, but I think eveyone knew that was going to be the case.
I can’t decide if a cherry Reese’s would be wonderful or terrible.
Which is kind of fitting, really.
It would probably be pretty good as it would probably taste like one of those cherry nougat Russell Stover candies.
They have remarkably solid form for being made of salsa
An apt metaphor for Eli Manning, if you think about it.
Good night sweet Prince. We all knew it had to happen but just went into denial
I know that this is totally unrelated to the comic but I have to ask, what would be worse for you next year? Tom Brady getting a 6th ring or the Cowboys getting a 6th Title?
It would be pretty funny if the Cowboys won next year, at least to me. I have a pretty darl sense of humor.
Patriots would have to win like 10 times for me to root for the Cowboys or Eagles over them