DeMarco Murray Joins the Titans
I bet none of you sum’bitches expected a Titans comic today BUT GUESS WHAT IT HAPPENED.
That’s just the sort of thing that happens when you plan out a comic the day before free agency and you don’t want to scrap it and force some other joke. Free agency was crazy yesterday, I’ll get to the good stuff. Seems like everyone is going to get a fort elite moneys now.
Anyway, the Titans. Forgot about them for a second. Don’t we all.
It’s kind of amazing the Titans O-line is as bad as it is when you think about it. They have poured two top 11 picks into the offensive line in recent seasons. Chance Warmack was a star at Bama and probably one of the best players in that draft. He’s been completely uninspiring. Taylor Lewan was an 11th overall pick, and he’s been…okay. Center Brian Schwenke was a 4th rounder. Can’t hold a 4th rounder to 10th overall standards but still. Byron Bell did okay for himself in Carolina and was signed to bolster the line. Instead the Titans offensive line has been bad, terrible even. It’s probably one of the major reasons the Titans have been scrounging around at the bottom of the barrel for several years. That and Ken Wisenhunt. Of course now they decided that Mike Mularkey was a good thing to keep around, because reasons. The Titans are in a hole and not even Magic Marcus is going to save this sorry lot. It’s a bummer because the Tits could use some love. Maybe DeMarco can give that love. He was awful in Philly but he was not used properly and we now know Chip Kelly was more insane than a genius. But I doubt he’ll do anything meaningful behind a line that continues to play like this.
I just don’t see the Titans keeping pace with the other teams in the division. The Texans now (might) have a QB, and they replaced Foster with a running back I greatly admire in Lamar Miller. The Jags spent some mega bucks and they seem to have found a franchise QB as well. They are trending up. The Colts? I mean screw the Colts but they have Andrew Luck and as long as he’s there they will compete. The Titans just can’t keep up. Not like this. Goddamn Mike Mularkey.
But I have such a soft spot for the underdog so I wish the Titans well.
HI DAVE!! RIP the Broncos 2016 Campaign
John Elway is crying, I am so very happy. Fuck John Elway with a cattle prod the size of texas. Or Wolfork dog. Can’t wait for the Broncos to become the new raiders
I meant a cattle prod the size of Wolfork dog
The Broncos have had six sub-.500 seasons since 1978 when the 16-game season started. The Raiders have had 11 in the last 13 years alone.
Good luck with that.
“Byron Bell did okay for himself in Carolina.”
As a panthers fan, no he didn’t. He only played left tackle for us because Jordan Gross retired a year earlier than anyone expected. And he sucked at it. He was the worst rated left tackle in the league and the third-worst tackle overall. He didn’t do okay.
Yeah I came here to say this, depending on what metrics were used he was between the worst and 5th worst tackle in the league, and when he signed with Tennessee I heard more than once talking heads mention they didn’t expect him to be a starter.
I might have been thinking of someone else then, for some reason I thought he was passable.
Oh. He was passable alright.
*finger guns*
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyy
I am thoroughly uninspired by Mularkey. We had a mild surprise in his first game with that win over the Saints, but immediately went back to our old ways (the only other win was over the Jags). I haven’t kept up with the coaching staff he has assembled, so I don’t know if they hired anyone I believe can make a difference. I do know that I’m giving them 4 games next season to impress me or I’m finding a new team to follow.
I love you Dave
“the Tits could use some love.”
Can we have Malik Jackson in a Fort “More guaranteed money than JJ Watt” Elite Money? Funny since a lot of people still don’t even know who he is.
Yeah, at least give him a Chance, Warmack.
Chase Daniel is made of awesome. An undrafted free agent with 77 career passing attempts, he’s now guaranteed to have a minimum of $24M in career earnings.
I’m sorry but Murray is done. It’s not about scheme. He has looked sluggish going back to the end of his last season in Dallas. At best he can be what Emmitt Smith was at the end of his career in Arizona when he would fall forward for 2 yards every play, only that Smith could do it behind garbage O-lines while Murray needs at least a decent one.
He was handed the ball a bazillion times that year and literally ran 1800 yards. It was the first time he was healthy the whole year. The Cowboys ran him ragged. Of course he was going to be sluggish at the end of that season. I don’t hold that against him at all.
That’s precisely my point. The Cowboys ran him ragged and his body couldn’t handle the workload. Just like most other players who have that kind of season. Most never regain their form.
But it was only one season, and he spent most of last year doing nothing. If he’d been getting run ragged for several seasons it’s one thing. But one year he may not have been prepared for followed by a pretty restful year that likely leaves him with something to prove, I think he’ll be fine energy and health wise. He’s 28 and he’s really only had one full year as a workhorse. I think he’s still got plenty left to give.
The question is whether he’ll be able to give it and get to the line of scrimmage without getting hit first
I honestly think this was a good move by the Titans. Not as good as the Cardinals resigning my man Drew Stanton and his dance skills, but still good. Also, how great would it be if the Bills got on Hard Knocks this season?
Can’t wait for the inevitable giants comic about our free agency and the joke about how bad the Browns are that will be hidden inside it.
“I bet none of you sum’bitches expected a Titans comic today BUT GUESS WHAT IT HAPPENED.”
But but but but……my big markets!!! Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Ugh, turnstiles. I’m so skinny that those things don’t even count me. At least I think so. I went to Menaards this morning, and I swear that thing just swung back to the front.
This offseason looks like a exponentially growing neighborhood of money McMansions.
Also, in the span of two days, Johnny Manziel was cut, Russell Wilson and Ciara got engaged, and Mark Sanchez is going to Denver.
This next season is going to be pretty interesting.
Oh god, this is the first I’ve heard of Sanchez going to Denver. Elway’s built up a lot of trust for his decisions, he better not throw all of that away now.
A Titans comic? Interesting pick, Dave.
Also I love how the O-Line sums up their role for the opposing team. Amazing imagery there.
“Hello Marita, hey, hi, how ya durrrrn”