Dan Campbell, Leader Of Men
I imagine when Dan Campbell’s name first came up you had one of two reactions. The first might have been “who the hell is Dan Campbell?”. The second reaction you might have had was “wait…Dan Campbell the buff guy from Miami who looks like the guy from south park?” The answer to that of course, was yes. That Dan Campbell. This isn’t even the first Draw Play about him. Dan Campbell was interim head coach of the Miami Dolphins 5 years ago. He did not get the promotion to full time and has spent the last 5 years as “assistant head coach and tight ends coach” in New Orleans. You are absolutely forgiven if you forgot or never knew he existed.
Well everyone knows who he is now after a nonsense introductory press conference where he talked about kneecapping players (by biting them!) and getting punched in the mouth and smiling. I’ll tell you one thing: Dan Campbell will very likely be very good at motivational speeches. I wanted to run through a brick wall for him just from the clips. If he has what it takes besides motivational violence essays we are going to have to see.
He’s a weird hire for sure. I don’t think Campbell was on anyone’s radar. He has not called plays or taken the usual route to HC like most coaches. He feels like this year’s Joe Judge, a dude nobody even anticipated or knew about suddenly getting hired because he nailed the interview and speaks like he would eat you if he wanted to. Is he a diamond in the rough? He could be. He actually does have brief head coaching experience in Miami and has spent several years as an assistant to one of the best coaches in the league. I think the deciding factor will be the thing that sinks or swims most coaches: who are his staff? Who does he hire as OC? DC?
I also wonder how well the bluster will hold up long term. He has a 6-year deal, which seems insane for a guy who wasn’t hotly sought after. If the team doesn’t turn around I hope he’s got something else in his repertoire other than LETS PUNCH EM OUT. Rah Rah speeches lose their luster pretty fast if they aren’t working. I have no idea what the Lions are doing and Stafford might still be out the door so I guess we’ll have to keep our eye on this franchise.
Tune in Saturday for a bonus comic that was originally going to go up today before I got inspired to do this one!
Kneecaps Campbell Kirby when?
I’m shocked this isn’t a reference to the Broncos hiring George Paton as the GM.
The first thing I think of when I hear the name Dan Campbell is when he played for the Jints back in the ol’ Kerry Collins days. He ceased to exist when he went to the Cowboys. JEeeerrrrrrk!! *shakes fist*
but… rivers…
probably tomorrow’s bonus comic
I got to the “remember” part of the opening and immediately had two thoughts:
a) Dave isn’t doing this, is he? (Glances at rest of text.) Oh, geez, he is.
b) Let me guess, this is about that idiot in Detroit… yup
Nicely done, Dave.
“Rip & tear” tie… nice.
of course it’s a patton reference everyone on the internet was born in the 80s or 90s
I was trying to remember who Dan Campbell was until it hit me that he was the only likeable coach from the God-awful staff that led the 2012 Dolphins’ iteration of Hard Knocks. Remembering that made me like the guy a lot more, and I’d suggest rewatching it if you want to get a better idea of who he is. I could just be speaking from bias here, like I said, that staff was freaking terrible and wholly unlikeable, so maybe Campbell just looked better as a result of that, but he seems like a really genuine guy and someone the locker room will definitely get behind.
At the very least, the Lions didn’t just dumpster dive in Foxborough for any Belichick scraps. I was praying they’d take McDaniels from us. Oh well.
Darren Rizzi (special teams coordinator) was pretty good too, but yeah, old queasy Joe’s coaching staff was pretty uninspired
Eric Bieniemy should pay Norv Turner and Chan Gailey for classes on how to interview
“Gonna feel old and bad when nobody realizes this is a Patton reference”
Andre, Quinton or Oswalt?
sir
Came expecting a Rivers retirement comic. Am disappointed.
This makes me want to watch Patton again.
I unironically love buff coach
Don’t feel too old, I recognized it was a Patton reference, and my AARP card isn’t due for another 3 months.
He got thots.
Bro a comic is not a paragraph of text probably some of your worst work. Weak joke.
I think you have failed to realize the obscene amount of text is the joke
Strangly enough, I knew exactly who Dan Campbell was. I was surprised when the Lions picked him up. But thinking about it they wanted the opposite of Matty Patty. So who is Matty Patty? A defensive “genious” who worked for the Patriots and did meh there. Dan Campbell? Offensive Hulked up Hulk who worked for the Dolphins and Saints and did okay there. They are completely different. Good on the lions, one extreme to the next.