Cheers G3
Cheers, fellas! I have returned! 3 weeks without drawing anything and some jet lag resulted in this. It felt weird to not draw anything for that long. My hands didn’t work right. Anyway, I’m married now, so that’s over with, now we can get back to butt jokes and outdated pop culture references like Cheers.
Well that RG3 thing didn’t last long did it? The Browns always find a way to out Browns themselves. I mean they really managed to do it again. I don’t know how it happens, but they keep doing it. Lets break down how depressingly hilarious this is.
-The Browns obtain the 2nd overall pick in the 2016 draft
-They pick up RG3, who most suspect is likely toast already for a multitude of reasons. Most expect this pickup to be a sort of backup insurance policy. This is the year to draft a QB, and Wentz looks like the target.
-The Browns decide a reformed RG3 is a better choice than rolling the dice on Wentz, trade down with the Eagles
-The Eagles pick Wentz
-The Eagles start Wentz week 1, against the Browns
-Wentz beats the Browns
-RG3 dies
I mean goddamn, Browns, how do you keep doing this? You have a gift. A gift, I say. It’s not a gift you want. but a gift none the less.
I missed most of week 1 (I watched what I could in a dumpy sports bar in Edinburgh, a story I will tell on next week’s podcast) so of course week 1 featured all kinds of hilarity. The Cowboys managed to out-do the Giants in clock mismanagement at the end of a game, the Chargers went full Chargers, The Jets went full Jets, Jack Del Rio teabagged the Saints, The Rams have no point, and Janeane Garafolo somehow beat the Cardinals. The NFL is the best.
At least we’ll always have the Browns to remind us that the more things change, the more things stay the same.
Edit: I originally numbered this wrong, I was really out of it with Jet lag when I made this one, sorry guys, this is comic #562
And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar and say “man what are you doin here”
And he’s talking to Sam, who used to be a Ram, but now’s been traded to the Vikes
La la day de da. La la day de daaaaaaaa
I lik3 th3 fact that it f33ls lik3 a historical p3rsp3ctiv3. Y3t I’m a high school grad myself and I don’t know what this 3v3n r3f3r3nc3s to.
7chool, thi7, f33l7, my7elf, r3f3r3nc37, p3r7p3ctiv3
mêh, ID ràthér STAY w1th MY ôbnôx1ôus TYP1NG stylé.•
It’s the intro to the classic TV show Cheers; which, until Generation Z was born, everyone on the planet knew this song by h34rt.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KtAgAMzaeg
Congrats on the wedding, congrats on 600, and welcome back!
Just so all you youngin’ know, Cheers was great, and any and all Cheers references are good by me.
But don’t go searching Netflix for reruns. Like all great things from the 80s, it probably doesn’t hold up that well.
Actually, Cheers holds up really well. I guess it makes sense because at the core, all their problems are the same as ours. Plus, Norm.
i’m old enough to know what cheers is and yet i never watched it, does that make me an honorary millennial
RGIII is now the 25th QB to go on the jersey…
I wonder how many RGIII jerseys sold in the offseason. He’ll never win a game for them…
Garoppolo didn’t beat the Cards, Bellichick did. Love him or hate him, he is the best coach ever. You put him on the Browns(snicker, cause he was fired from the Browns), the Browns would be a playoff team, or at least be above .500
He was fired from the Ravens. Modell promised him he’d still be coach of the team in Baltimore and then fired him about a week after they officially moved.
Chargers went full Chargers should say
Heach coach Mike McCoy continues his career long trend of worst record in the NFL when up by 3 scores in the second half, because he’s done it every year he’s been a coach.
He’s depressingly gutless and predictable. Won’t take risks or change his ways because he believes in himself and his faulty process. Can’t stand that moron.
And the Fins still can’t close out a game as Kenny Stills dropped the easiest touchdown ever.
We’re one week in and the sorrow I feel for Browns fans is almost up to season long levels.
Injured Reserve sounds like one of those shitty Fox shows Joe Buck has to advertise.
I can already hear him droning on about it. Thanks.
“Taking a break from all your worries” rhymes with “Taking a break from all injuries” JFYI
I really just cannot blame Browns fans if they jumped ship. I don’t know how you can swallow years and years of bad luck, bad QBing, bad O-Lines, and an atrocious front office.
Because they’re not fair weather fans, or random bandwagoners who simply start caring about a team only because they’re good.
bad o-lines?! the browns had the 2nd best offensive line last year with pro bowlers joe Thomas 8 pro bowls and alex mack 2 pro bowls and Mitchel Schwartz the best right tackle in the league
Brown’s fans are wimps. Try being a Cub’s fan. Our championship drought is literally twice yours. Suck it. I’m gonna go smoke a cig with Cutty.
Yeah, but football matters more than baseball. By more than twice as much, so Browns fans still have it worse.
Now watch as Josh McCown deflates the footballs used in Week 6, and the Browns lose both 1st round picks next year.
At this point, I’m convinced that no matter what choice the Browns make in regards to QBs, it will always be the wrong one.
Trade up to grab a hot college superstar? Bust
Trade down because you trust what you have? Starting QB dies week 1 while the QB you passed up wreaks havoc on you.
If Modell hadn’t left, they would’ve had Belichick as HC and the great Ravens defenses. Then they draft Brady and then become the most dominate team for the next 2+ decades. Only the Browns.
If Modell hadn’t left, the only thing that would be different is that the Browns would have had illusions of success before he fired Ozzie, drove Belichick out of town (or fired him for not kissing the ring and sucking up to the media), and they sank back to where they are now, with the notable exception that his vile taint likely would have seeped into the Cavs, and Lebron would have lost this year. Modell deserves remembrance only as an example of what kind of person not to be, not as some mythological sign of hope.
Confused about something, your last comic (the wedding) is labeled 561. So where are the 30 comics I missed out on?
To be fair, next year’s class looks pretty stacked. Watson, Kizer, Kelly, Beathard, etc., it could be a calcuated risk on Hue Jackson’s part. RG3 works out? You get a franchise QB. RG3 dies? No problem, he was cheap. Meanwhile, if RG3 dies, you’re probably going to be picking high enough to grab one of those guys who look as good if not better than Wentz, and if you’re not, you’ll have enough left over from the Eagles trade to move up to do so.
I’m calling it. One of these days, scientists at the Large Hadron Collider are going to discover the REAL particle that holds the universe together (not that silly Higgs boson): the Browns particle. The Browns failing is necessary to keep the fabric of the universe intact. There is no other explanation. It is part of the natural order.
The Browns will fail before week 2, in any possible way.
I believe that the Browns are already eliminated from the playoffs for the next decade. Honestly, if they drafted Wentz, he would’ve been a bigger bust than JaMarcus Russell. But since the Eagles drafted him, he’ll become a Pro Bowler. Because Browns.
Wentz looked a lot better than anyone expected, but the Browns still made the right choice. They hedged their bet on RG3 and will now have two first round picks in a very deep QB draft. If RG3 had learned to do necessary QB things beyond just passing the ball, they had a franchise QB on the cheap and 2 first rounders. If not, they now have probably the top pick for Watson and another likely top 10 pick.
Wentz mostly looked good in three situations. He took advantage of two huge mismatches in tramon williams covering anyone and Jordan Poyer covering Ertz, and he throws a very pretty back corner fade. He’ll probably be a franchise QB, but he’ll look much worse this season against any defense that has a secondary worth a damn.
Calling it right now, Browns end 2016 with both #1 overall and #2 overall (I can’t even do that in madden)