CHAMPIONSHIP CHAOS: Wait I’ve Seen This One Before
THE WEEK IN CHAOS
–Whelp. The one matchup I really didn’t want. Did anyone want this particular matchup? Even the fans of the two teams involved probably didn’t want the other team back in it.
We had two games. One was a blowout demolishing by a superior team crushing the upstart opponent, and the other was a fantastic duel between two masters that ended with the same result that always happens when the Chiefs are involved. If the Chiefs/Bills game wasn’t so good, I think we’d all be even more deflated by this result.
The Eagles/Commies matchup was always going to depend on the Commies playing perfect ball. They control the clock, grind out long drives, score, and don’t turn the ball over. That’s been the Commies recipe for success this season. They aren’t really built for blowouts. Sadly the Commies picked the worst possible time to fall apart, especially in the turnover category. I hope you like fumbles, because Washington loved them! The Commanders played an almost perfect first drive, taking 17 plays and half the first quarter to finally kick an easy field goal. Then Saquon housed it on the first play from scrimmage for Philly and that vibe just never quit. Commies could not stop the Eagles enough to stay close, and they couldn’t score enough to matter, and the Eagles just pulled away until their backups started dunking on Washington. It’s always sad seeing a Cinderella run hit the wall. Reality can suck sometimes. It also hurts because the Lions would have probably made it a more fun game if we had gotten that matchup instead.
The Bills/Chiefs was at least a great game. They exchanged punches in the first quarter, but the Chiefs would dominate the second quarter and things started to feel kind of dire for Buffalo. Then Sean McDermott gave his patented 9/11 halftime speech and the Bills came out to dominate the 3rd quarter and take the lead. But after a deflating 4th down conversion failure the Bills defense fell apart, KC tied it up and kicked a go-ahead field goal, and the Bills season died on a perfect Spags exotic pressure. Josh Allen did everything he could on that play and Dalton Kincaid let it slip through his hands. Faretheewell, Football Moose. Maybe one day the Bills will actually beat the Chiefs when it matters. It will not be in 2025.
GIANTS CORNER
–If Saquon wins the super bowl it will officially complete the nuclear nut blast that was the Giants special 100th season. I will become the Joker.
CHAOS OF THE WEEK
– The Bills did their best, and they came up short. But for the next offseason we are going to once again hear a lot of chatter about NFL officiating always going for the Chiefs. The bias has gotten so visibly bad the conspiracy nuts are starting to sound like they have a point. Make no mistake, I still think the NFL officials are mostly just bad at their job and the NFL doesn’t try to fix it. But man, it sure would be nice if the refs made at least one close call go against KC. If there is a questionable close call, the Chiefs will always get the benefit. It’s not universal, but we saw it twice on big moments this week.
First was the Xavier Worthy catch that might not have been, as it hit the ground. The ball doesn’t appear to move, but it also does not appear to be fully in Worthy’s control, as the Bills player has about equal grip. Tie goes to the WR, but if neither had explicit control, the ground should have probably made it incomplete. If they reversed that call, I would not have complained, but this was more understandable than the second call.
The Allen failed 4th down conversion appeared short to me until I saw the overhead replay. Looked like the ball got over the line there. The announcers thought so to. The two officials during the play who saw it called the play opposite each other, but they went with the “short” ruling and then didn’t overturn it. Another very close case that could and probably should have been reversed. I think people would be less mad if these calls didn’t seem to always go towards KC. They very very rarely get the short end of these sticks, and people are getting fed up about it. People are getting fed up at Mahomes getting calls while other QBs, especially lesser QBs with less cred, do not. It’s aggravating. The one time the officials seemed to go against KC was the Toney call last year when Mahomes and the Chiefs threw a huge fit, and it seems like Mahomes threatened everyone’s family behind the scenes because they haven’t had to throw a fit since. I still don’t think games are “rigged”, but I do think there is a bias that needs to be examined in how these superstars and super teams get favorable calls. The officials should be neutral and fuck up everyone’s day.
CHAOTIC MOMENTS OF THE WEEK
–Washington committed to stopping the Tush Push at the goalline so much that they jumped the line 3 times trying to time it right and the referee actually threatened to award the Eagles a score if they did it again. I honestly would have liked to have seen that happen. It is legal.
–FAKE PUNT!
CACKLES OF THE WEEK
–After that long, agonizing opening matriculation drive by the Commies, Saquon instantly housing the first touch was hilarious.
BIG OOF OF THE WEEK
-Every fumble by the Commanders was a bigger oof than the last. That Austin Ekeler one later in the game when the outcome was still theoretically up in the air was the real gut punch.
DISAPPOINTMENT DUCK
–It was always going to be a tough time for Washington but it got even uglier than expected
MOST UNWATCHABLE TEAM OF THE WEEK
–Patrick Mahomes had the worst football spike in the history of spiking the football.
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BETS FOR NEXT WEEK
CHIEFS vs EAGLES
Here we are two years later with the Chiefs possibly bookending their historic three-peat against the same team they started it on. The Chiefs have gone to 5 Super Bowls in the past 6 years, and two of those bowls were rematches. Not a great time for variety. Most of America is going to be shouting GO BIRDS in two weeks. For rivalry reasons, I will not be one of them, but I judge nobody who does. It brings me no pleasure to root for these Chiefs. A three-peat would be pretty neat and I just don’t want the Eagles to win again. If I wasn’t a Giants fan though, I’d be all-in on these Eagles. Saquon unleashed from the shackles of NY has been a miraculous sight all year. Nick Sirianni plays the perfect douchebag heel. Vic Fangio has the defense balling out. Hurts seems like a cool guy. I find Philly fans less annoying than Chiefs fans these days too, tbh. It’s just, well, they have to die. You can respect your anime rival but you still have to wish them dead.
If you are like me and are embracing the dark side the Chiefs winning was probably the better outcome from Sunday. I don’t see the Bills stopping this Eagles offense. The Chiefs? The Chiefs can. They have all year. If they turn the Eagles one-dimensional and Hurts doesn’t have a perfect game, the Eagles are in for a tough game. Chris Jones already won the last Super Bowl by blowing up what was supposed to be a great offensive line. The difference now is Barkley. If Barkley gets going the Chiefs simply do not have the ability to win a shootout. This is one of two outcomes: the Chiefs win a close one, or the Eagles eventually pull away for a bit win. My gut says Barkley makes the difference this time. I think Philly takes it.
Please meteor, save us
If the Chiefs win, I will draw Mahomes and company celebrating the three-peat. Feel free to offer ideas on how to portray that
If the Eagles win, I will draw Saquon Barkley waving the Lombardi from the top of a greasy lamppost
All I can think of is Andy Reid Walrus in Shao Kahn’s outfit, sitting on a throne with a sceptre, flanked by Mahomes and Kelse and the rest of the Chiefs team in the background in the shadows with glowing red eyes. On the ground is Shao Kahn’s hammer embedded in the earth having smashed an eagle. In the sky above, bleeding text reading FATALITY (or maybe some word football-related that could be akin to ‘fatality’.
Eh, well I think it’d be funny, anyway.
Sirianni might go 2 of 3 in the Super Bowl with the Eagles and people will stil act like like he’s a lousy head coach.
And I just remembered it was Doug Pederson who won that first Super Bowl but there doesn’t seem to be a delete comment function.
Threepeat celebrated in the form of a State Farm truck just unloading money on Walrus and Kermit.
This is the one. Especially since the State Farm logo has three ovals… you put a Lombardi/year in each oval
The Cheifs Drawing should be Mahomes as Roman Reigns with three WWE style belts while the Walrus is Vince McMahon and Kelce with the luchador mask like elbow dropping Sam the eagle in the background. Or just something similar to the WWE idea
threepeat celebrated with Andy Reid buldlerooskieing three Lombardis
I was all prepared to write a draft of the Washington Communists Fight Song, to be sung to the tune of The Internationale, eg. “Let’s seize the means of pro-DUCT-ion / the MEANS of producing SCORES…..” I may yet do that between now and next season, but I’m a Patriots fan living in OH, surrounded by OSU and Bengals fandom, so it’s not high priority. But I grew up in DC, and I grew to loathe “Hail to the Redskins…”
stupid voodoo bullshit gonna win a third in a row… ugh…
All I can take away from this is Buffalo LOL. I know what we’ve got is your nightmare matchup, Dave, but Bills-Anyone would have been mine. Now all that’s left is to wonder what the over-under on dodgy calls is going to be.
If KC wins, put the refs and that irritating commentator (you know the one – TOUCHDOWWWWN!! KANNNN-SASSSS CITY!) on the podium as well.
“GIANTS CORNER
–If Saquon wins the super bowl it will officially complete the nuclear nut blast that was the Giants special 100th season. I will become the Joker.”
When backed into a psychological corner, wear purple and come out swinging.
About the Chiefs, if they win have Mahomes throw Tom Brady from the top of the NFL Pantheon or recreate Scar dropping Mufasa off the cliff in Lion King.
Considering the way that calls have gone this year, if the chiefs win, I would like either Mahomes or Reid have “hidden” away the necronomicon or some other dark tome or perhaps some kind of summoning circle with Jake from State Farm actually a devil or demon. (or maybe let that be a later comic where he is demanding payment for his “protection” insurance).
Some sort of Cerberus style creature where the three heads are three Lombardi trophies would be good for the cartoon I think.
I’m a dolphins fan saying this but the current chiefs make me miss the Pats dynasty so much
This is a hard Superbowl to root for either team. I actually like most of the Eagle players and coaching, but Sirianni, big Dom and their fans are obnoxious.
The Chiefs Mahomes has turned into a baby/flopper. Kelce starting shit just to get flags and the refs seemingly given a slight advantage to a team that doesn’t need it are reasons to dislike KC. On the other hand, Andy Reid seems cool and we may never see another three-peat in our lifetime.
Fuck it, get Barkley a ring!
Eagles winning would be the lesser evil if the refs allows it.
If the Chiefs win, the team is celebrating in a hunter lodge, with 3 Lombardi-shaped trophies hanging above the fireplace, with 2 Eagle heads and one 49er head. Kermit Mahomes is celebrating with tea.
The worst outcome for America. I’m rooting for the Chiefs for the same reason as Dave, but I probably won’t be paying much attention to the game this year.
It’s wild how many die hard fans are outright ignoring piles of data combined with real experiences they watch with their eyes and then sticking their fingers in their ears going “It’s just bad officiating lalalala” as though there is a not MASSIVE amount of financial incentive to put even one quarter of a thumb on the scale since legal gambling has blown up so much.
We live in a world where countries bend the knee to the rich, climate change is ignored in the name of profit, and slave labor is used to build venues around the world for the most prestigious sporting events and somehow “some of the officials in the NFL are on the take to put their thumb on the scale” is considered a conspiracy theory.
I love you my NJ brother, but this is like watching kids in the 90s pretending Kayfab doesn’t exist.
The amount of money they would lose if it came out they fixed a game would make any amount they could make by manipulating things completely inconsequential. The gambling and fantasy money would dry up over night, they would lose their congressionally granted anti-trust exemption, certain advertisers that think they have an image to protect would flee, and merchandise sales would take hit.
The financial incentive is to keep the games more or less legitimate.
The problem I have is that you don’t have evidence. You have speculation. A ref blowing a call does not inherently mean someone behind the scenes put their thumb on the scale. So much of what the refs do wrong can very easily be understood as incompetence just as easily or even easier than nefarious puppeteering by shadowy figures. Yeah, the league and the world is ruled by rich people. Yeah, there is some shit that is baffling to the point where maybe some unfair influence is happening, somewhere. But right now all you have is suspicious pointing and the nebulous concept of “because money!”. Nobody has actually proven a connection. What is the explicit monetary gain to denying the Bills a first down? Does it counteract the monetary gain the NFL would have if they gave the Bills a first down? I never see the rigged arguers actually getting into the weeds with these broad accusations. So much damage has been done in this modern internet era by this conspiratorial type of thinking, so many people have gotten sucked down into rabbit holes like Qanon or whatever past the point of no return with this line of conspiratorial thinking.
The NFL might have their thumb on the scale in some ways. If they do, I won’t be surprised by it, because it would explain some things. But I refuse to walk down this unsigned trail in the woods you are shouting at me to take without making damn sure I have the right map and my position correct first. Show me actual evidence of an official being influenced directly to interpret calls a certain way, and you’ve got an argument that goes beyond speculation. Until then, pretty much all of what I see can still easily be explained by home stadium bias, incompetence, and poor rule definition in a difficult job operated by part-time employees. Occasional failures brought on by a confluence of various systemic problems.
The older I get, the more incompetence I see in the world. Everyone I thought had their shit together as a kid turns out to be winging it as best they can just as much as I am. Conspiracy thinking tends to focus all hate very directly on an other, nefarious shadow form that can conveniently be the cause of the whole problem, because that’s an easy explanation. Reality tends to be more mundane and complicated.
Yeah I tend to agree that it is more likely the refs are just incompetent. But I do think a fair share of grey calls have fallen KC’s way enough to create the doubt and suspicion. Add in the flopping, whining and genuine fan fatigue seeing the Chiefs all the time (game, highlights, analysts, commercials) and it is a recipe for disaster.
The scariest boogie man is not the NWO/Illuminati theory but rather the pilotless airplane theory.
If the Chiefs threepeat I can only see it as the completion of a dark ritual. Once they’ve got that ring they’ll have the power to control the minds of everyone, not just the refs.
This is nuclear-grade Eagles Haterade, but I think the Chiefs match up BETTER against the Eagles than they did 2 years ago.
The defense is playing at an all-world level, and while Saquon is a huge variable, look at how KC handled Baltimore earlier this year. They contained Henry extremely well, and while Lamar had a great game against them, Jalen Hurts is no Lamar Jackson. I also have a LOT more faith in this KC receiving corps, last time around their WRs included Skyy Moore, Justin Watson, and Jerick McKinnon.
However you end up drawing the Chiefs victory, there should be a ref celebrating with them
If chiefs win, the trophy is presented by Mahomes’ biggest fan: a referee