CARTOON PICS CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION: Fine, Brady’s the best, I surrender
Whelp, I guess we’ve answered the question of who was most important to the Patriots success for 20 years. It was Tom. I could continue my delightful trolling ways and come at you with arguments like “Well he threw 3 picks, the Packers just failed to punish them” and “He made a super team in Tampa, stick him on a bad roster and see how he does”, I won’t. There’s no point to even faking it anymore. I’ve pretty much accepted it since around ring #5, but there’s no fun in even pretending now. He’s the best. No one else will ever accomplish half of what Brady has done. He’s still not my favorite QB to watch. I’ve never found his game as compelling as Rodgers, or Peyton, or Marino, but there’s something to be said that he just…always does it. Always finds his way. It is very irritating. At least now he’s in a different uniform and that’s honestly kinda fun. Super teams can be fun when they work.
Also the Chiefs won. They kinda look unstoppable. Not every team can be down two scores and still feel like they are still kinda ahead.
LET US BID ADIEU TO OUR LOSERS
PACKERS – The Packers and the Saints are the same team. They won a championship early in the decade and have spent the rest of the decade getting embarrassed in the playoffs. This Packers team played like cowards in yet another NFCCG. That field goal with 2 minutes left? Absolute astonishment. Cowardice of the highest order. It is a shame that the Refs suddenly decided to call PI on that final play when they had avoided throwing the flag all game, making the call part of the story of the loss when it didn’t need to be, but the Packers lost this. Brady tried to give them the win with 3 picks and they failed to convert 2 of them into points. How often do you get Brady picks? You gotta capitalize. In the end, the Packers have once again had a deep playoff run before being exposed as frauds. Rodgers expressed a lot of frustration after the game and I can’t blame him. There is speculation he might leave now. I don’t see it happening, but now it’s a storyline thanks to how bad that game went.
BILLS – A poor end to a great season. Unlike the Packers, the Bills were even more cowardly with their field goals and never came close. The Bills played to lose, especially early on. You can’t take field goals against the Chiefs. You have to go for the throat. But even if they had, the Chiefs were just too strong and the Bills looked outmatched. But this was a small blemish on a great season that sets the franchise up to be contenders for some time. Josh Allen took the next step and became a legitimately great QB this year, proving the haters wrong. Diggs was a godsend to the offense and one of the best receivers all year. The defense is still stout. The coaching, despite this game, is on point. The Bills were a blast to watch this year, second only to the Browns in feel-good season story. Good for you, Bills. I hope this year wasn’t a fluke.
PICS!
Bonus Andy Reid as a Plandypus because that was all I could think of when I saw his mask.
THE SUPER BOWL PICK
I think most signs point to the Chiefs. They just turn it on like no one else can seemingly at will. The Bucs look great at times but at other times they look like they did in the second half against the Packers. They appear out of sync. Brady throws bad balls. The defense inexplicably gives up big plays. It still feels like a good team that hasn’t quite put it all together yet, which considering how far they’ve gone is rather terrifying. The Chiefs D showed up big against a frightening Bills O. I think the Chiefs have the edge on all fronts. Reid is a better coach than Arians. Mahomes, at this point, is a better QB than Brady. The Chiefs have a better run game. They have arguably worse weapons, but Kelce and Hill are still amazing. Defense is likely Chiefs. Chiefs have the better kicker.
But you can’t count out Touchdown Tom and I’m tired of trying to. I’ve learned my lesson. I’m rooting for the Chiefs. I think the Chiefs are better. But I’m picking the Bucs, because of that one stupid guy I’m so tired of.
One thing is for sure: the media fart huffing of Mahomes v Brady is going to be insufferable and the matchup of Tom Brady vs the defending champs from last year is the game I wanted the least. I’m going to stay the hell away from ESPN and the like for two weeks because the very idea of the discussion already makes me exhausted.
IF THE CHIEFS WIN, I WILL DRAW PATRICK MAHOMES CASTING OLD BRADY INTO THE ABYSS. THE FUTURE IS NOW, OLD MAN
IF THE BUCCANEERS WIN, I WILL DRAW TOM BRADY AS GALACTUS
I forever disagree. Aaron Rodgers is a clearly better QB, but his roster doesn’t compare with Brady’s throughout his career. Brady barely gets 50% completion percentage and it’s all about how he won the game and not about how the Bucs defense had stepped out to bail him out of his interceptions.
And don’t forget that Brady’s a MAGA moron.
You’re shouting into a hurricane. The fact that Tom is always on stacked rosters for all of his Super Bowl appearances never matters. When the team loses, Tom was let down by those around him. When they win, he single-handedly pulled them to victory.
If there is one thing I learned from the MAGAt Administration, it’s recognizing when to stop trying to have a conversation with people so biased that they can’t even maintain the illusion of a real conversation. Many – not all, but many – think of Tom Brady as their God, and they will not question anything he does. He can go 3-for-38 for 25 yards w/ 4 picks, but if they win the game, *HE* will be the one who led them. I concede nothing to this. Peyton Manning coming back with a fused neck and barely any feeling in his throwing arm is FAR more impressive to me, but there’s just no point. I’d rather pretend the season was canceled and go do something else. Let them shout GOAT! at each other all night.
Honestly I hope that Brady wins purely for the fact that he might quit if he does so. He is a decrepit old man who throws as many picks as there is in there is in James Harden’s beard off the court. Rodgers has been reliable for years and will be for years to come.
I disagree on one point. The least wanted superb owl would have been the State Farm bowl. The commercials alone would have been next level cringe.
As much as I share Dave’s dread that the Bucs will pull it off, I think this match-up has the makings of a really compelling close Super Bowl. A Chiefs-Packers match-up would be a completely forgettable stomping by KC (at least after the Chiefs pull ahead for good mid-way through the 2nd Quarter).
naaaaah. chiefs gonna stomp. could be a 43-8 style blowout. bucs got luc(ky)
Brady has never won or lost an Owl by more than one possession. That would literally be historic.
Huh, guess I miscounted actually. The score of 52 was 13-3.
53* I really suck.
Those 3 ints were a real Sexy Rexy job. Fuck it unleash the dragon. But the pass to Miller was really a big dick move.
It wasn’t even just the pass to Miller, it was the entire sequence that led up to it. Arians called on the punt team on 4th and 3, Brady told them to piss off before converting it for a quick first down. Arians then calls on the FG unit and once again, Brady tells them to piss off before dropping that absolute bomb to Scotty Miller. If that ain’t big dick energy, I don’t know what is. Arians wanted to be conservative, Brady wanted the W.
Really? Ariens gave the credit to Leftwich for changing the play.
This postseason has been an absolute embarrassment in terms of late game decision making. Time and time and time again we’ve seen these coaches play it safe and get ultra conservative at a time where they need to be aggressive and watch as it inevitably backfires wonderfully in their faces. It’s as if every coach saw Indianapolis get too aggressive early only to lose by 3 and decided, “Nope, not making that mistake!” It’s sad and as I’ve been saying, you’re just coaching to lose at that point.
I can’t say I was expecting to see you hand Brady all the credit, but hey, I’ll take it honestly. He played terrible in the second half yesterday, and I would go as far as saying the Bucs defense bailed him out in that case. With that being said, what he’s done this year is nothing short of incredible. He joins a new team with a system unlike anything he ever ran in New England in a year where he didn’t have an offseason nor preseason to break himself in and throws 40 TDs and 4600 yards. then proceeds to lead the Bucs to their best playoff run since.. well the only time they even won the Super Bowl.
The Bucs were certainly talented, but they went 7-9 last year and hadn’t sniffed the playoffs in 13 years. In one season, at age 43, Brady made them into a Super Bowl contender. They aren’t playing a home Super Bowl without Tom Brady, and that speaks volumes about the impact he’s had on that team.
I would also like to say that Tom Brady’s worth was already confirmed when the Patriots were eliminated from playoff contention with 2 weeks left in the season while the Bucs ended their playoff drought.
Was it though? The pats had like half their team opt out and were playing Cam freaking Newton. I think we’re all a little too excited to bury the patriots, and are going to be hating life when they get Stafford or Jimmy G and win it next year.
The opt-out excuse is weak. They lost one impact player due to opt outs in Dont’a Hightower and you could argue that he’s not even the same player he once was a few years ago. Patrick Chung was replaced by Kyle Dugger and Marcus Cannon was their worst OL. Do you really think guys like Brandon Bolden and Marqise Lee would have made any significant difference on this roster? I highly doubt it, personally.
I agree that Cam Newton is a terrible quarterback, but bringing in a broken Jimmy G or even Matthew Stafford won’t make them a contender again. The reason why New England was always able to bounce back after a rough season is because they had Tom Brady in that locker room. When you remove him from the equation, the weak roster management begins to show, and boy is it terrible.
The opt-out logic there seems shaky at best. Kyle Dugger might’ve been a good Chung replacement eventually this season, but I didn’t hear any coaches or scouts saying that week 1. Cannon has been their starting LT or RT for several seasons, so even if he’s not great, they’ve obviously gotten to greatness with his play being a big part of their O-line. And even if people agreed that they “only” impact player was Hightower, he was the freaking signal caller and captain of the defense, and he was still one of the best out there at that. That’s kind of a big deal position, especially if your offense is sad and rebuilding, and the defense is supposed to carry you despite a bunch of free agency losses too. (And yes, Bolden would’ve made a difference. He did every year he was there. Always a key special teams guy and a good backup RB for those weeks when the first 2 guys were inevitably hurt)
But I’m with you on paragraph 2. They’re not likely to come back in a hurry. WAY too many holes, and ones that Brady helped cover for years.
My point on the Patriots’ opt-outs is that the key guys who did end up opting out of the season were easily replaced outside of Dont’a Hightower. Obviously Dugger wasn’t guaranteed to do anything, but he filled in for Chung just fine, and outside of two or three games, New England’s secondary was far from an issue. Similarly, Marcus Cannon was easily replaced as well, as New England still fielded one of the best OL’s in football. Brandon Bolden is great guy, but he wasn’t going to make or break this roster either, even as a special teams guy, and again, he was replaced and New England’s special teams unit did fine without him this year. Even as a backup RB, he wouldn’t have made a difference given how well New England was able to run the football without him with guys like Damien Harris (they finished 3rd or 4th in rush YPG).
What I’m saying is that they didn’t get nuked by opt-outs like people seem to think, and their struggles stemmed entirely from parts of the roster that were barely affected at all. The Patriots weren’t bad because they had a bunch of opt-outs, they were bad because the roster was poorly managed in key positions like wide receiver and most notably QB. Their defense, at worst, reverted back to a typical defense we saw with Tom Brady after an anomaly year (serviceable at best, gives up yards, but gets stops when needed). They just had such an anemic offense that it didn’t mattered what they did, they weren’t going to win many games.
We do agree on the last part though. I don’t think shuffling in another QB is going to immediately fix those issues.
I guess I’d argue that if those opt-outs were all put back on the roster for the season, they’d cover some of the deficiencies at other positions, much like they and Brady did the previous 2 seasons. Brady is a much bigger deficit to overcome, but when you look at how many games they lost on the last possession or by close margin, I think maybe they win a few more, which might get them into the playoffs (where they’d have gotten smoked, but everyone views the season differently if they make the postseason without Brady).
A thing of this scale cannot be judged after 1 season. Nothing proven yet. Sofar Brady has a head start.
agreed. ooh my god belichick had a bad season after three superbowls and four afc championships in five years during covid and losing his QB for forever holy shit it was brady all along
lol this season was only the start. It’s not looking up for New England anytime soon.
The Chiefs are teetering into villain status just because they’ve been successful. At least they are fun to watch though. That being said, they’re up against Tom Brady. The Chiefs may not be the hero many people want right now, but they are absolutely the hero we need.
No offense to you directly, but I’ve always felt this is one of the dumbest things about sports fans. Where else in life do we say “that person is the greatest at what they do, I hate them and wish they’d stop doing it”. I wouldn’t go to see Yo-Yo Ma in concert and hope for him to hit some bum notes because “I’m tired of him always playing the best”. If I need surgery, I’m seeking out the most successful surgeon I can find, not jeering against him and hoping he screws up my surgery and some intern has to come patch me back together. I’m guilty of it too in other sports sometimes, but it’s one of the dumbest things we do as sports fans, rather than appreciating excellence. Nothing guarantees an endless stream of matchups like Brady vs Mahomes in the Super Bowl. Sure beats having to watch Andy Dalton vs. Jay Cutler or something of that mediocrity.
The difference is that many sports fans (including myself) value competition. I love it when a league is competitive and several teams have a chance at making it to the top. Parity is something valued because it leads to the sport being *interesting*.
I’ve tried for years to start following basketball, the one sport of the four North American majors that I don’t usually follow. And I’ve never been able to get into it. Why? Well, for one, the team I try to follow is the Kings, and they’re the Cleveland Browns of the NBA. But the main reason is that its playoffs and top level aren’t *interesting* in any way. I have no reason to care about who’s doing well or who won in the first round because I just know they’re going to get owned by the reigning dynasty superteam (in the mid-2010s it was Warriors/Cavs, nowadays it’s the Lakers), so why bother?
We don’t hate people just because they’re good. We hate them because they ruin the parity of the sport and create less interesting competition.
sTim – I respect Brady. What he has accomplished is unreal and he deserves to be recognized for it. I just really didn’t want Brady to go to the Super Bowl with the Bucs in year 1. Mostly because the media will drive us all crazy. The matchup is fantastic and should provide an unbelievable game.
Brady and the Bucs in the Super Bowl in year 2? I’m good with that. But now, Tampa gets a “home” game in the biggest game of the year, and all we will hear about is how Tampa is in the big game because of Brady. The rest of the team will only get scraps of credit, when the truth is that Brady bailed on the Patriots because he could see the team decline coming. He went to the Bucs because he saw the talent and potential. Thus, Brady is what got them where they are, which is only half right.
It isn’t just sports fans, everyone likes the new shiny thing!
When was the last time you listened to a new Rolling Stones or Paul McCartney album? I bet you’ve heard more Jonas Brothers garbage (through no fault of your own) than the old guys’ new music over the past 10 years. Is it because it’s better music or because people wanted something different?
It’s virtually a law in political science that the newly-elected president’s party loses big at the midterms two years after they’re elected.
Who are the most hated companies in the US? They’re also the biggest/best ones: Amazon, Google, Facebook, Apple, Microsoft, Fox News, Walmart, New York Times, … I’m sure there are a million more examples. We love to watch David take down Goliath!
i assume, in addition to whatever comic given the game’s outcome, the header image will be nothing but covid
Is anybody else torn about who to root for? Last year’s champion vs. Tom Brady.
Not at all. Just remember that the Bucs have AB. Do you really want to see his awful behavior get rewarded with a ring?
I feel a comic coming. AB vs Tyreek. Who is more awful?
Meanwhile Kansas City has clean slates like Tyreek Hill, Frank Clark, and even Eric Bieniemy.
Not exactly the best reasoning there, lol.
I’m pretty much done with football, the officiating has just gotten too bad. I had zero rooting interest in those games (sad WFT noises) and still just couldn’t believe how bad it was. Why do we even watch if the officiating will change the outcome of the game to such a degree?
“No one else will ever accomplish half of what Brady has done.”
More than like, but if anyone is going to do it, Mahomes is off to a good start. 3 years as a starter and he’s a dumb offsides penalty away from three straight Super Bowls. Say what you will about Tom Brady’s run of dominance, at least he never did national t.v. commercials. There is a chance that 10 years from now we hate Patrick Mahomes far more than we ever hated Tom Brady.
You can already see it online. I’ve seen a few unironic system QB arguments come up when talking about Mahomes.
I for one embrace our role as the bee Patriots and hope we absolutely curbstomp Old Man Brady into retirement.
I have no idea how new autocorrected to bee but here we are.
The trick is sustaining it. KC is $18mil over the cap for 2021, Mahomes’ cap number climbs to $40mil+ in 2022 and going forward, you lose your OC and DC and other coaches on a regular basis, and you’re not going to sniff a draft pick in the top 20 for years. It will be a challenge to keep a good team around him.
Well apparently nobody wants to hire Eric Bieniemy so actually holding onto that OC might be easy
Sorry, I can absolutely see Rodgers leaving. First of all, the Packers already told us they’re moving on from him when they traded up for Jordan Love in the first round. Their plan mightn’t be for that to happen this offseason, but that could have also been the plan all along. Now Rodgers isn’t happy with how the season ended and he knows the Packers are already planning for him to be gone and he’s seen how Brady found greener pastures leaving his longtime team, so that could also expedite the process if he decides he doesn’t want to remain with the Packers
rodgers to pats. 7,000 yards a season and seven superbowls like brady said. fuckit, at this point AR might take the belichick discount moohoohawhahaw
Tom Brady as Galactus? Nahh he’s totally Hal Jordan during the Emerald Dawn series going fully ring happy.
This is what I’m talking about
Tom Brady is more of a Green Lantern IMHO. https://i.imgur.com/BYvwwgq
The choices for the Bills and Packers to go for field goals are just baffling.
It’s one thing if you’re a defense-oriented team in a low-scoring game. Or maybe if the distance to go on 4th is unrealistically far.
But the Bills and Packers are built around their offense. They have average defenses and are playing against other top-tier offenses. Why would the Packers assume they would get the ball back at all? Why would the Bills assume they would have later opportunities to stop the Chiefs’ offense?
Ridiculous.
There are two, and only two, records in the NFL that, 15 years ago, I staunchly believed would never be sniffed, let alone tied or broken. Don Hutson’s streak of years as the top receiver in the NFL (5 years in a row, 8 years as reception leader, 4 years in a row and 7 total as receiving yards leader, and 9 years, with 4 in a row and 5 in a row as TD leader) is still one that I don’t think can be broken. He created the receiving game, and everything since has been minor tweaks and improvements, and the NFL is *WAY* more competitive and innovative now than it was in his day.
The other record was Otto Graham’s 7 championships. It’s an absurd number. True, Automatic Otto did it faster, but consider that 4 of his championships weren’t in the NFL proper, there weren’t even half as many teams draining talent as there are today, and the picture looks to be a combination of genuine talent with Foundational Age Benefits that later-comers can’t hope to match, especially since the NFL has taken painful strides to become as competitive across the board as possible.
In all honesty, if I’d been asked to pick which of the two would be more likely to be broken in today’s NFL, I’d have gone with the receiving record. Some once-in-a-millennium athletic monster who lucks out on the injury game and gets paired with a Brees/Peyton scenario could maybe pull that off in a brilliant 10 year career. Because you’re really just talking a few players, across 16 games.
But championships are so much more fickle. Getting SEVEN of them… MAYBE if a player bounced from team to team to team, but not a QB. Super Bowl winning QBs just don’t change hands enough, and even when they do, it takes time to gel and get with a team, and that’s a season or two down the drains. It takes an entire team to win championships, where it only takes an amazing offense with a freak WR to beat Hutson.
That we’re at a point where Graham’s record could be tied, one of the most prestigious records in all of Sports history, and people are *BORED* with it is an absurdity that I cannot even fathom. This is a Thing That Should Not Be. Root against the villain, if you cast Brady as such. Defying the last, greatest legacy of formative Browns, rendering their greatest achievement an also-done instead of an Olympus against which all other achievements are measured, is certainly the kind of thing one can cheer against. Or cheer for the record-slayer. The man who proves the Age of Myths is not gone forever, that nothing is safe, that one man can make that difference for an enduring legacy. But this is something to embrace– this is *history*, as it happens.
Maybe the Chiefs give life to the idea that, for one more day, the Untouchable remains sacrosanct, beyond the grasp of even the most audacious and over-reaching of mortals, as the Old Gods of Football look down from Valhalla to smite the ambitions of would-be-kings. Or perhaps, as the titans fell before, now the new age of Men has come, and Old Gods will be cast to dust, no longer immortal but fragile vestiges of a past never to be idolized, but to be surpassed as the unrelenting grind of evolution forges greater and mightier heroes.
Cherish this clash, between the physical of the now and the spiritual of the then– let it shape visions of the morrow, and grow never bored with greatness, but aspire to it, cling to the promises it brings in either triumphant victory or thrilling defeat.
As for me, I am on Team Brady. Let Odysseus slay the suiters and remain the King returned to glory.
I hate it. We get the most boring of the stories. Oh it’s Mahomes vs Brady oOoOo. I don’t care. Give me Bills/Buccs or Mahomes v Rodgers or Allen vs Rodgers any day. It’ll be fun to watch Brady lose again I guess.
Bills vs Buccs would’ve been fun tho… Bills, after years of suffering at the hands of Tommy boy finally make the super bowl to face… Tom Fucking Brady. It would’ve been beautiful.
Chiefs vs Packers would be a wild shootout. “Mahomes is the best QB evah.” They shout… Not if Pissed Off A-A-Ron Rodgers has anything to say about it.
Bills vs Packers was my pick at week 4. No joke. I wanted Revenge Tour Josh Allen vs Pissed off A-A-Ron Rodgers. I wanted it so bad. I wanted Allen to win. I really did. I have had a soft spot for Josh Allen. Maybe it’s because so many people were pissed off that the Bills “missed” on Josh Rosen. Maybe it’s because he’s got all the physical talent in the world. Maybe it’s because I like tall QBs almost as much as Elway. But I like Allen. Oh yeah and the Mafia vs Cheeseheads would’ve been hilarious too.