Cam Newton’s New Dance
So Cam Newton has retired the Dab. It’s not terribly surprising. The dance reached peak popularity this past season and I’d argue already wore out it’s welcome 2/3rds into the season. Cam has now gone through 2 celebrations, so I’m eager to see what he comes up with next and how mad it makes old Tennessee Moms who think Cam Newton doing a little dance is a horrible influence on the children. I really do hope he just embraces the heel turn and does something rude.
Me and Sam get into this on our newest podcast (GO LISTEN TO IT YA BUMS).I liked the Dab. It was simple and easy to do, which makes it easy to mock, which to me is the sign of a good celebration. There was a little bit of dancing before the dab motion, but it was the dab itself (Which to me still looks like you are sneezing into your elbow crease) that people liked to do. The best TD “dances” are ones that can be easily mimicked by the fans and playfully mocked by opposing fans/players. Contrast the Dab to whatever the hell Odell Beckham does when he scores.
Beckham does a big fancy dance that’s half amazingly fluid and half complete nonsense. But it’s the kind of dance only he can really do. I can’t do his dance. I bet you can’t either. It’s a bad dance, because when he scores I can’t do it with him, like I could Salsa with Victor Cruz TDs. It’s also too complex to be iconic. Better your #brand, OBJ.
I can do the Dez Bryant X. I loved Kaep’s bicep kiss and Cam’s SUPERMAN thing. That Michael Bennett sexy dance? Perfect. Von Miller’s triple pump? Great stuff. The Discount Double Check? Great. These are all very simple celebrations. Even JJ Watt’s salute is good, if a little too JJ Watt for my tastes.
Touchdown dances are to football as cellys are to hockey. However, I have yet to see a TD that is celebrated via dogpile.
That being said, I would pay so much money to see whatever he comes up with. It can only get better from here.
Well here you go then: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBlgN85wB6U
The guy who scored broke a hip or something in the celebration.
Channel your inner Hatter, Cam. Go full Futterwacken.
So he becomes a chippendale?
Cam Newton as THE GENDER BENDER
Ya know.., Cam Newton doing a version of a “bite my shiny metal ass” dance would actually make a lot of sense. He could finish it with blowing cigar smoke in all the hater’s faces then [Bender pimp walk away](http://img.pandawhale.com/63767-Bender-pimp-walk-perfect-loop-d86Q.gif).
DOH!
I would love that, and I would help pay for his anti-fun fines.
R.I.P Sexy Rexy tag 🙁
Fat Mike Tolbert is one of the best things this site has to offer.
There should be another week of comics called “Fat Tolbert Week” where we follow Fat Tolbert and the Panther Kids as they learn lessons about how to deal with losing, and then play a song on their cobbled-together instruments, summarizing the comic’s lesson.
Hey, hey, hey! That’s a good idea.
The grave for “fun”, nice touch.
That little dabbing statue on the gravestone would’ve made a cool hood ornament on some NFL player’s Bentley–last year.
I grew up with the Falcons doing the Dirty Bird and it was a team specific dance that was fun and the fans enjoyed but as with any type of celebration they get old or in Cam’s case overdone. I have always liked when celebrations become accepted by a team such as handing the ball out to the kids after a score or the Lambeau Leap. Individual celebrations tend to have a shorter shelf life and are much more open to mockery (Dabbing, Tebowing, anything Terrel Owens or OchoCinco did, etc)
Well in all fairness, the Dab is 0-3 in championship games, all by teams from the Carolinas.
Clemson vs. Alabama
North Carolina vs. Villanova
Carolina vs. Denver
They should retire it if not just for the fact it’s bad mojo.
Personally I blame Carolina more than I blame the dab.
“The Salsa” tombstone should be “Planking”
Don’t you say that. The salsa isn’t dead yet. Have hope Dave!
On to the other games for week 11. The first game was Philly vs. LA. LA is still on a backup, the Soul have Dan Raudnbaugh. Philly won 73-37. The game was in Atlantic City. Nothing notable other than that. Philly 9-2; LA 5-5
Atlantic City is a cool place.
I SEE SEXY REXY
This is preposterous! There is plenty of room in that cemetery for a couple of promiscuous squirrels.
love the little kid cheering
I bet he got the touchdown ball.
I grew up with Moss, Owens, and Johnson. Some of the flashiest characters the NFL has ever seen, and they came up with the most original celebrations. Using the pylon to putt the football? Genius. And don’t get me started on Joe Horn dialing a pizza shopon a cell hidden in the goalpost padding during a blowout. Unfortunately, as part of his campaign to kill fun, Goodell banned all of the fun things they had done, and now a black man doing a dance popular with the black community is a threat to white America. What have you done, Goodell? I miss the days when people were offended because a player mock-mooned the opposing crowd. I can at least understand some offense being taken there.