Alright, so I’ll start this off with the obvious. Parkinson’s Disease is terrible and I wouldn’t wish it on anybody. I wish Brett Favre a long and healthy life, behind bars.

Favre was called in front of Congress for a hearing about welfare reform. Of course, he was there because Dr DickPic was part of a scheme to misuse Mississippi welfare money to build a volleyball facility for his daughter’s school, among other bullshit. Fuck Brett Favre. Favre revealed during the proceedings that he’s been diagnosed with Parkinson’s. He was diagnosed in January. That’s a bummer for him, no question. I have no reason to believe he’s lying about it.

Of course, he just sorta slipped it in there while crying about an investment he lost in one of the pharmaceutical companies that was part of the misappropriated funds scheme. It felt calculated. Like he was saving the fact for this moment to play for sympathy points. I find it hard to have sympathy, despite the fact that Parkinson’s is so bad. I actually think Jen Sterger (the recipient of his dick pic) had a great take on it: “I don’t wish bad things on anyone, but I know Karma never forgets an address. Imagine being diagnosed with such a terrible disease and not having the resources to fight it bc some Hall-of-Fame quarterback stole it?” I can’t really say it better than that. It sucks for Brett that he has this terrible disease. None of it justifies what he did. I certainly can’t have much sympathy when it felt like he calculated when he used the information as if to try and reclaim the narrative over the criticism and instead make it a sob story.

But to be honest, the Parkinson’s thing does matter. Especially on a grander scale. Parkinson’s is a disease that affects the brain, slowly deteriorating it. Head trauma is known to be a major risk factor, and football players have an increased rate of contracting this disease. Favre was the league’s ironman and took more horrible hits than any of us could count. Football is bad for your brain. Favre may have been using misappropriated funds to try and fund research into cures for brain trauma, and he deserves scorn for that. But that is not an unworthy cause. Maybe you can put your QB millions and Wrangler Jeans money towards it instead of money intended for impoverished children and families next time, asshole.

Fuck Brett Favre. Fuck Parkinson’s.