The Draw Play

So 99% of commercials during any given football season are unbearable tripe. Even the ones that aren’t so bad the first time you see them are likely to be run into the ground by week 2 or 3. There is, however, the one exception every year that doesn’t make you want to rip your own eyes out and throw them into a volcano. Someone at Progressive knows what they are doing. The Baker Mayfield at home ads were a defiant force of charm against a hurricane of slop.

This year it seems the Progressive people have found another gem. Maybe not as good as the Baker ads (part of those ads working were the fact that Baker was extremely good on camera for a football player), but good nonetheless. These would be the new Backups commercials. So far most of you have probably only seen the one parodied here, with Case Keenum coming in to properly back up a truckbed when the terrible driver husband fails. I liked it. This past weekend I actually saw a second one, featuring Josh Dobbs. I like these ads. Partially for intended reasons. But significantly more for unintended subtexts.

First off, good for Dobbs and Keenum getting an ad bag. The only other time a backup QB was used for a good joke was this classic Verizon ad with Luke McCown. Knowing how this thing usually goes, we will probably get at least one or two more variations on the theme before the season is over. Which backups are we going to see? It would be hilarious if they hired Sam Darnold to do one and shot it before the season started and now they can’t run it. I think Tyrod Taylor deserves one. Chad Henne, maybe? Blaine Gabbert, if I may be so bold? As far as the joke goes it’s pretty tame. Backups are important! They got your back like INSURANCE COMPANY has yours (insurance companies do not have your back).

What makes me really like the ads though are the unintended implications. If a backup QB is put into a game, it means the starter A: got hurt, or B: Is playing like hot garbage. Which means the way these ads work kind of imply that the husbands are hot garbage. And they are! The husbands are failing miserably and being hardcore emasculated by these big sexy backup QBs. In real life backups are backups for a reason, they aren’t good, so it’s a bad thing to get replaced by one. That guy from the Keenum ad? Getting taken out of the game so that Case can “finish the drive”? Absolute embarrassment for husband. The wife is going to get back into the den, study the film, and conclude that Case Keenum gives her the best chance to orgasm going forward. Sorry Steve, your ass is benched. Your son was openly rebelling against you in the locker room. You were the first choice when the family was young and building, but it’s clear you aren’t working out. Might have to trade him to a different wife or just cut ties, even with the divorce dead money taking up half your household’s cap space. Keenum might not be the long-term solution but he’s a good bounce-back for now to make the wife look pleasing to potential free agents next year.

So maybe it’s not actually the ads themselves I like but the darker implications of the joke setup that I do not believe they properly thought through when writing them.

Still want to see Tyrod get one.