The Walrus Studies The Film
Calling it now. I think the Chiefs are going to be this divisional round’s home team upset. I think the Colts are going to make the Walrus choke again.
I don’t trust the Chiefs. I want them to win. I want to see Mahomes go all the way. I want to see Andy Reid finally get that damn trophy for himself. I just don’t buy them as a true threat. That defense is garbage and now Mahomes is going to have to play better competition. Looking back on the season they didn’t do as well as it felt like at the time, and they had a significant issue with primetime games. They managed to put up a fight in every loss, partially because Mahomes is fucking awesome, but I think it’s notable that all of their losses came against playoff teams and they struggled against the Ravens as well. Outside the Ravens, they mostly beat up weak competition like the Raiders, Broncos, Bengals, Browns, Jags, Cards, 49ers…Hardly murderers row. Every legit team they faced was a problem. The Rams, Pats, Seahawks, and Chargers all beat them. The main point in the Chiefs favor was that they were never blown out and never looked like a bad team.
They now have to go against the 2018 season Cinderella story Colts, and I think it’s a bad matchup. They could have probably beaten the Ravens again, because the Ravens offense was never good and the Chiefs offense is good enough to put 30 on anybody. I think they could have taken the Texans too, because the Texans more than proved themselves as frauds. The Colts defense isn’t great, but it’s better than KC and they’ve gotten better as the year has gone on. It almost doesn’t matter, because the Chiefs will score on them anyway, but the problem is the Indy offense is actually quite good. The line is stellar, Luck is back to looking like the #1 overall pick we expected, and TY Hilton still owns. This offense can keep up with the Chiefs in a shootout and has a moderate defense to back it up. I think the edge is just enough and the Colts win a thriller.
Obviously I’m a poor analyst and am mostly going on gut feelings here, so the game will end like 16-13 because football never goes the way it should. But this looks to be a shootout and the Chiefs always put up fun points, so it’s probably still the must-watch game of the weekend.
Also, I’ll get to all the head coaching carousel stuff once the offseason hits, but let me say this: fuckin Jets lmao
EDIT: This is why I do not bet on Football outcomes
I’d honestly be very surprised if the Chiefs win. The Colts D isn’t exactly terrific, but they’re helped by just how atrocious the Chiefs D is; the Colts need to force Mahomes off the field exactly once to have done their job, because we know the Chiefs ain’t doing that to Luck.
The terrible thing about being a Chiefs fan is that we totally thought you were right. Luck was suppose to destroy our defense and our offense was going to be neutralized. We were actually shocked that a 1 seed managed to take it to the 6 seed. Football is a hell of a drug and for chiefs fans, it’s a depressant.
How did the Patrick Mahomes as Kermit start? I know he was drawn as Kermit for the Thanksgiving comic, but don’t know why.
Andy Reid said that his voice sounded froggy and then it just took off
Watch an interview with him. He sounds like Kermit.
I still say he sounds more like Miss Piggy.
Since the Chiefs defense is run by Chris Jones, Eric Berry, and a whole bunch of nobodys, it should be just as easy for the Colts to get down field as it will be for the Chiefs. I really just want to see Quenton Nelson just smack some D-Linemen and just destroy the Chiefs defense single handedly. And with that protection and limited pressure, Luck is going to have all day to throw, leading to more complete passes and successful drives.
Or we could all just be wrong and the Chiefs destroy the Colts.
I take that first part back, they have some pretty solid LBs, Ford and Houston, but still. What they going to do against the Colts O-Line?
KC has the best pass rush in the league. The idea that Luck is gonna have all day to throw just isn’t true. Now, whether it makes a difference. That’s a good question.
KC has the best pass rush in the league? Did you watch a single Bears game this year?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Still laughing now?
Their defense still gave up over 400 points in the season and after all the years of choking in the playoffs, will this really change? Beating the Colts isn’t that big of a deal, do us a favor and actually make it to the SB before you can brag about it (basically assuring that the Pats are knocked off).
I mean, the colts O-Line is good but it’s weakest at tackle and the rest of the line outside of Nelson aren’t game wreckers (although i think Castonzo needs more recognition for being solid on a lot of bad lines). I could see this game being a lot harder for the colt’s line than people think. Braden Smith Vs. Ford and/or Houston might be big, as could Glowinski vs Jones if he is put on that side. I think it’ll be a good match up, which the colts may win. Just don’t see it as being a blow out.
Well, this comment hasn’t exactly aged well
Colts and Patriots need to win so we can have a DeflateGate rematch and spend another week talking about the Ideal Gas Law.
We need to have the Colts v Patriots and Cowboys v Eagles so that we have two championship games which have history and real bite to them.
Any other outcome leaves us with the inevitable Saints v Patriots Superbowl, which nobody wants to see.
Why would anyone think the Colts have a prayer against the Pats who have destroyed them over and over again.
Because arguably this is the weakest Patriots team in the last decade, Luck is fit, their offensive line is solid and their defense is capable.
People criticised the Texans for being a terrible team when the Colts took them apart, but to me it spoke more about how much the Colts have improved.
Though I still would like to see them lose because Jim Irsay is a horrific human being and Luck being back and fit is more down to his own work ethic than anything Irsay did to help.
Sadly they’re still good enough to give us another year of Ringless Rivers…or is that a good thing?
If Andy Reid was a Doctor and he gave you 10 years to live, you’d be dead within a week.
This is classic. Also, if that happened, would it be considered an upset?
Reminds me of the old joke:
“Doctor, how long do I have to live?”
“Ten”
“Ten? Ten what?”
“Nine…”
The Colts have had the easiest schedule in the league this year, and KC has had one of the hardest. Your narrative doesn’t check out.
Mahomes is the new Marino.
In that he’s had a phenomenal first full season (beating Dan’s old mark by 13 yards & 2 TDs) and he’ll still have no ring at the end of it.
I wouldn’t be surprised if it happens, who knows?
If Peyton is Marino with a ring, does this makes Brees more like Fouts?
To be fair, KC did beat the chargers week 1, and the TNF loss was only by 1 point in a very tight game. All of KC’s other tight losses have been on the road. @New England, @LA Rams, and @ Seattle. I think this game being at Arrowhead will be the deciding factor in our favor. But I am also ready for heartbreak and pain. Such is life as a Chiefs fan.
Andy Reid, be it in Philly or in KC, has been one of those John Fox coaches who fails to adjust well, but who manages to (usually) crush bad/mediocre teams, but loses frequently against good teams. While having a worse record against winning teams than losing teams is expected, the teams coached by Reid don’t just do poorly, they do *BADLY*.
I don’t trust the Chiefs, because, now that Fox has been seen for the absolute loser of a coach he was, Reid is the most over-hyped coach in the league, and he has been for almost 20 years. In Philly, he road his DC to those early 2000s success (success he never duplicated in Philly). In KC, he’s again riding a weak Conference and a somewhat weak division. He’s definitely not riding his DC… which means the one area where he could gain some traction in Philly is gone.
He might beat the Colts– they don’t fill me with dread– but I’ll be surprised if they go further than that.
Predictions:
Saints 45, Eagles 17
Chargers 27, Patriots 24
Chiefs 38, Colts 31
Cowboys 35, Rams 27
I think the winners are close, just flip that Colts-Chiefs game. Colts-Saints Super Bowl rematch?
I think you’re giving the Eagles about as much credit as Dave would give them. That game is going to be way, way closer. Cant argue the others though, they will all be one score games.
Also factor in the “Drake Curse” and note that this week, he’s been hanging out with Alvin Kamara.
As a Saints fan, I do not like the mention of this “curse”. Since you are an Eagles fan (an annoying one, obviously) I’ll give you a pass and hope that the game delivers and is a good one win or lose.
Full Reid avoided for now.
Can’t have a 4th quarter time management crisis if you’re winning by 18.
The season ain’t over yet. Walrus may see this as a challenge.
Unpredicable?
Dave!
My Chiefs won!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I feel like of all the ways this game could have gone, “The Chiefs defense makes Andrew Luck look like HE’S the quarterback who’s in the playoffs for the first time” was not one anyone considered.
If that was actually the way the game was going to go, I figured the snow would’ve had a bigger role, and it would be a 17-10 kind of game, but Mahomes seemed perfectly capable of doing whatever he wanted to do, despite playing in Texas his whole life.
“Did you know Patrick Mahomes played shortstop?” is the new “Did you know Antonio Gates played basketball?”
In the 1980s…
“Did you know John Elway used to play baseball?”
Way to curse the Colts Dave.
So the Chargers didnt show up, and Andy Reid worked out that the best way not to have to worry about Clock Management is to absoloutely destroy teams in the first half to the second half becomes irrelevant
Could use another installment of “Ringless Rivers”.