The Draw Play

This is, I hope, the final comic I make with Dan Snyder. Tomorrow’s comic will be about what’s next. I want the image of him riding into hell to be my final image of him.

And as such, it’s time to do a recap of his human crimes. If you’d like a recap of his football crimes, you can read the previous comic.

Dan Snyder started a company with money from his dad because no billionare is a self-made man. He eventually made enough through his business ventures to purchase the team in 1999 for $800 million.

-Dan Snyder was the first owner to charge to see practice.

-Dan Snyder sold expired airline peanuts at the stadium to fans.

-Dan Snyder sold 9/11 commemorative hats.

-Dan Snyder helped send Six Flags into bankruptcy.

-Dan Snyder destroyed old-growth trees behind his property (not on it) so he could have a view of the river. He did so without the approval of the county and when a Park Service ranger tried to call him on it, he helped destroy the park ranger’s career.

-Dan Snyder sued an old woman and longtime season ticket holder who could no longer afford the ridiculous prices in the contract.

-After this article dropped, which is a great source and which many of you already know, Snyder attempted to sue the paper for the article and crush it. Snyder had a famously bitter relationship with the local press, namely the Washington Post. Jeff Bezos may have been unable to buy the team because he owned the Post, and Snyder is vindictive. It is also notable that the famous “Cranky guide to Dan Snyder” article dropped in 2010. He had 13 more years to get even worse.

-Snyder famously defended the former team name. While he was not alone in this line of thinking, he would make a spectacle of it, trotting Native Americans onto the field as a shield to defend the name. He only relented once his sponsors (including FedEx) pressured him into removing it during the 2020 protests. It was finally enough. He then spent two years coming up with an incredibly dumb name, which leaked early because they don’t know how to hide the merch.

-Snyder used the death of Sean Taylor multiple times to try and deflect discussions during controversies. He threw together a haphazard number retirement ceremony that nobody was alerted to until just before the game. He also put together a very disappointing memorial later on during more controversy.

-His minority owners threatened Snyder. He responded by buying them out for full control. When criticism arose he put his wife in charge, again using someone else as a shield.

-Dan Snyder sex trafficked his own cheerleaders. He sent the Cheerleaders to Costa Rica for a calendar photoshoot, then the team took their passports upon arrival and required them to be topless for the shoot. He ordered DVDs to be burned of the outtakes to give to other executives. This occurs in 2013, but we don’t find this out until 2018.

-Snyder oversaw an incredibly toxic and misogynistic culture inside the organization. While Snyder himself is not implicated in the charges of harassment, this report feels like the ball that finally got the Snyder Ousting Train rolling downhill. Then another report with even more accusers drops. After all of this occurs, the NFL finally appears to be investigating the issue, and the world at large is beginning to notice. Snyder himself is revealed to have paid out a settlement against someone who accused him of sexual harassment.

-The NFL fined Snyder 10 Million for what they found in the investigation, but none of what they found becomes public because for some reason Snyder is given the power to veto that. Of course, part of all of this is that Snyder disrupted the investigation.

–Congress finally gets involved and Snyder avoids testifying by hanging out on his yacht in the ocean. Snyder had apparently been skimming revenue off the top and not sharing it with the owner owners as part of the NFL’s revenue sharing. While Snyder has not fallen under much pressure from the NFL itself to this point, when it is revealed he took money from the other owners, speculation that this might actually break him boils up. Jim Irsay publicly questions if Snyder should be removed.

-It is revealed in a massive ESPN article that Dan Snyder was probably behind the leak of the Jon Gruden emails, a move that would backfire on him and be at least a significant part in his removal as an owner. This article drops days before the sale is officially ratified and Snyder is gone.

There is so much more. Even trying to parse the many recap articles out there of his tenure to try and summarize it down to his worst crimes was exhausting. Snyder is up there amongst the worst owners in sports history. He was a failure at running the team, he was a failure of a boss, he was vindictive, petty, and pathetic. He was transparently vile. An absolute loser who did irreparable harm to a beloved organization and icon and walked away 6 billion dollars richer for it. Fuck Dan Snyder. Fuck him. Fuck him. A goddamn disgrace of a man. It’s one thing to be shitty at your job. It’s another to sex-traffic your own employees and make videos of them without consent. Fuck you, Dan Snyder.

We can’t take away his billions. The only thing we can do is drag his name through the mud for the rest of his life. To make any mention of the man into a picture of a rotting dumpster. His name should be synonymous with disgrace and evil ownership. His legacy should be one of disgust. Fuck Dan Snyder. If there is a hell, I hope you fall deep into it.