Clipboard Jesus Saves
Nobody asked for a Charlie Whitehurst comic in 2021 but it’s the offseason and I do what I want, fuck you
Clipboard Jesus is a top 10 football player moniker. In fact, here are my top ten football man monikers that aren’t Sexy Rexy because nothing will ever be as good:
The Big Tuna
The Refrigerator
Big Dick Nick
The Minister of Defense
Prime Time
The Snake
Clipboard Jesus
Broadway Joe
Big Ben
The Bus
There are of course so many others worth mentioning. Monikers are great. The only one I never liked was Sweetness. Always thought that was a dumb moniker. Sweetness conjures up happy innocent childhood family memories to me, not football jukes.
Also a commenter on the last comic mentioned my TV Tropes page and WHAT THE HELL? WHO MADE THIS? I SURE DIDN’T, WHO WAS IT? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN
There were people who actually wanted him to start over Matt Hasselbeck. Football fans are idiots.
No love for Muscle Hamster?
Doug Martin hated it so much that he purged it from everyone’s memory apparently.
I was just about to comment this. He might have hated it, but it’s a great nickname.
How did Sexy Rexy not make the cut?
My first thought too! Dave can you share a picture of your Sexy Rexy shrine? Does your wife mind being second place in your heart?
Both Sexy Rexy and The Sex Cannon are hall of famers
Honey Badger!
The Mad Stork!
Beastmode!
I also like Muscle Hamster.
hmm, the pats don’t have any. curious.
Uh – The Law Firm (of BenJarvus Green-Ellis)?
Any Patriots fan who displays whimsy is personally visited by Bill Belichick in the dead of night.
Pats had one of the greatest of all – BenJarvus Green-Ellis, the Law Firm.
The Hoodie
The Comeback Kid became (Never count out) Touchdown Tom
The Law Firm
somehow the fact that it’s Freeney making all three plays in the comic makes it funnier for me
None of Jared Lorenzen’s nicknames made it on the list?
Most of his are just fat jokes and considering how he died a lot of them just kinda ring sour now
This comic and that TV Tropes page are such a wonderful trip through Memory Lane.
Don’t care bear
Also, as a fan moniker, “Fat Humps” is a winner.
You didn’t know you had a TVTropes page? That’s been around for a while I think. I hope you mentioning it means a lot more will be added to it, you have quite the backlog…
Kevin Durant trying to push “The Servant” when people were already calling him “Slim Reaper” is an all time missed opportunity. I guess Devonta Smith can be Slim Reaper now.
Lester “The Molester” probably wouldn’t fly today.
According to his Pro Football Reference page, one of Tom Brady’s nicknames is “The Pharaoh”, which… no I’ve never heard a single person call him that.
“Cadillac” Williams
Andre “Bad Moon” Rison
“Mercury” Morris
“Galloping Ghost” Red Grange
“Megatron”
I didn’t start the tvtropes page, but I edited it a few times.
You forgot the Pillsbury Throw Boy/Hefty Lefty/Battleship/Tubby Gunslinger/Butterball/Lord of the Ring-Dings/Round Mound of Touchdown/J-Load/Abominable Throwman/Quarter(got)back?
You forgot “He Ate Me”, and “J-Load”
I did remember J-Load 😉
But it appears I also forgot BBQ (Big Beautiful Quarterback)
It looks like your TV Tropes page was first published on July 30, 2015 by someone called “Leaper”, according to the history of the page. It’s been edited 42 times since then, a few of which were by me.
Dat me. 😀
No love for the late Jared Lorenzen who had a generous helping of monikers all to himself?
“The Hefty Lefty”
“The Pillbury Throwboy”
“The Round Mound of Touchdown”
ect…
Night Train
Gravedigger
Crazy Legs
Mean Joe
The Hefty Lefty
Weapon X (this is the best nickname)
Too Tall
Papa Bear
Mark Super Duper (also, the Marks Brothers)
Weapon X was a terrible nickname, too early 2000’s edgey cool
Not the NFL, but surely “He Hate Me” is an HM.
I mean, T-Sizzle is pretty cool in my opinion
Jack “The Assassin” Tatum was a great nickname, until he pretty much killed Darryl Stingley.
How many of you also want to punch Jon Gruden square in the face for making The Sherriff a thing?
You gotta unleash the dragon.
Ed “Too Tall” Jones
Randy “The Manster” White (half man, half monster)
Billy “White Shoes” Johnson
Dick “Night Train” Lane
Nicknames used to be a lot cooler than they are now. Now it’s just initials and jersey number slammed together.