Earl Thomas Applies For Unemployment
Health Update:
I’m not better. I’m just bored. All signs point to ulcers right now but since insurance denied my endoscopy (for the moment, I can resubmit in a couple weeks if I don’t improve), I don’t know for sure. I’ve lost ten pounds and I’m still fairly uncomfortable, but I’m not doing quite as bad since I’m hella dosed on anti-acid meds. I don’t think I can quite yet return to a normal thrice a week schedule, but I can probably squeeze out one a week minimum. Whatever it is, I’m stuck in this for the long haul and there are only so many times I can replay Bloodborne before I get bored and want to doodle again. So for now, updates are back, but probably won’t have a set schedule and I’ll also probably do a bunch of easy checkdowns.
I felt like chronicling the next stage of Earl Thomas going full Antonio Brown was worth coming back for anyway. My man is going for the Antonio career route. What are you doing, my dude? You get in a contract dispute with Seattle (fair, anyone on the side of labor understood that), then flicked off your own team when you got hurt (again…understandable considering the circumstances but not likely to endear you to the people in power). He caused a ruckus, demanded he be traded to the Cowboys, and ended up on the Ravens instead. A depressing end to the legion of boom era.
Baltimore seemed like a great fit though! Team took the league by storm and ET got to be the man on defense. He was a vocal leader all year long and it seemed like things were gonna work out. Then he opened his mouth a bit too wide in the playoffs and Derrick Henry turned him into his own lead blocker. It’s been a hilarious downward spiral since then. Henry killed Earl Thomas’s reputation.
He continued to run his mouth and then got caught in a bizarre scandal involving his wife threatening him for his sibling adultery. Then he got in a fight and punched his teammate Chuck Clark. The Ravens cut him and lots of stories about how hated he was came out in the interim. As of this writing, he hasn’t been picked up yet. Speculation has naturally flowed about the Cowboys. But we’ve seen this descent before. Even if the Cowboys do pick him up, ET is past his prime and also severely up his own ass now, and it might not be long before he burns that bridge down too. grab the popcorn folks, something tells me this one isn’t over yet.
Also Bloodborne is the best game of this generation and none of you will convince me otherwise.
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Here’s the gofundme to help the latest victim of police violence, Jacob Blake. He’s paralyzed now, and could use anything he can get. I’m thankful he’s alive. Here’s another link to the Milwaukee freedom fund to help those protestors unjustly arrested, especially after that 17 year old radicalized child murdered two people.
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Not to fully pry into your business but check with you income and eligibility for Oregon Medicare. If you qualify it will be covered for your procedure. M
Hope you get and feel better
Bloodborne is indeed the greatest game of this generation, and it’s really knocking on Metal Gear Solid 3’s door for greatest of all-time for me (yes, this is what I have decided to focus on in this comic).
It’s funny, because I came here to snort and say it is absolutely NOT. It’s not even the best game of the year it came out in. Witcher 3 takes it out behind the shed and delivers a mighty BloodBURRRRRRN.
…I’m not really a fan of either game *ducks from thrown bricks*
i dont know what bloodborne is and afaik witcher is a tv show about superman contemplating a career change
Witcher 3 has absolute ass gameplay and if the writing wasn’t as good as it was I wouldn’t have been able to finish it
game plays like ass
I can understand not loving it to death… but gameplay like ass? That is a preposterous statement, even if intended as hyperbole. The user AND critic scores for that game are through the roof. It is universally beloved, and if you think it has ass gameplay, maybe you’re just not very good at video games. XD
Play a game with tight, well made combat and then go back to the Witcher 3 and see how irritating it feels. The game succeeds in spite of the combat and the general movement, not because of it. All of it’s strengths lie elseware and are good enough to carry it, especially for fans of that genre
As a guy who likes tighter action games, Witcher 3 plays awkwardly and feels stiff and janky. The minimap is trash, navigation is bad, fighting is repetitive, the potion system is basically pointless. I think a lot of people forgave it since it is so good elseware and it was the best combat of a series with notoriously terrible combat
How are we defining a ‘generation’. Because I don’t play many video games so I always just say Fallout: New Vegas.
Generation is defined by console releases. So everything released in the PS4/Xbone era. It obviously has less meaning to PC gamers
best game of the 486 generation
best game of the pentium iv generation
best game of the threadripper generation
Hey man, feel better. Thanks for making awesome comics and I look forward to the great ideas you’ll have as we get closer to what may be quite the interesting season. (And as a Pats fan, I was actually hoping for a Bucs Rookie LB is fired joke at some point…)
Hey Dave, hope all goes well for you!
Also, since I’m a jaded person at my young stage of life, I think it’s a no-brainer that some team still gives him a chance. I’m thinking that two teams that just lost their projected starting free safeties (Giants and Browns) could throw him a lifeline on a one-year deal.
I don’t know if the Browns are gonna go after him unless they don’t see another choice. From what I’m hearing out of Baltimore, he did to the Ravens what Kenny Britt did to the Browns, just with enough talent that he was still really good even as a lazy malcontent who was just in it for the money. With the Browns already passing on younger, more talented equivalents in favor of Malcolm Smith because of his reputation as a good team guy, I don’t see it.
Besides, they signed Sendejo as Karl Joseph insurance, but he can also serve the freelance thumper role they wanted for Delpit. If the 49ers are serious about shedding load I also wouldn’t be surprised if they found a way to pick up Jaquiski Tartt.
so… cowboys
Welcome back Dave, wishing for a speedy recovery!
In the meantime if you’re looking for ideas, may I offer this gem?
https://www.nfl.com/news/cb-kemah-siverand-apologizes-to-seahawks-11-days-after-getting-cut-for-violating
Dave, you’re stuck in a full on stupid situation. I’d recommend starting a proton pump inhibitor like omeprazole (Prilosec OTC), but then you could get better and have no reason to reapply for the scope. And with ulcers, there’s always the risk of additional damage or (God forbid) stomach cancer, so you want the damn endoscopy. So now you’re just popping antacids like there’s no tomorrow and trying to stay upright. This is why we need single payer or a public option.
Also, ET went full dumbass and has no one to blame but himself. Or maybe CTE.
What I find interesting is the prospect that the Ravens could get his guaranteed salary back for conduct detrimental.
If you’re cut with $10M guaranteed, that’s usually an easy call to sign the guy at league minimum and let the other team pay. But now neither party knows if that $10M safety net is actually a disappearing act. Fascinating game theory between parties about what kind of contract they’d be willing to sign and how much of a delay we’ll see while just waiting for it to happen.
Aye Dave isn’t dead!
First off, glad to see you’re better!
Second off, as a Titans fan I can respectfully say: HaHahAhaHahAhaHaHahAhaHahAhaHaHa
I think the Titans would be interested, after all he’s shown aptitude as a lead blocker for Derrick Henry
Oh crap just read the description I’m so sorry mate
Something like 85% of ulcers are caused by a bacterial infection. You should be on anti biotics and a stomach protector in addition to acid inhibitors. 1-2 weeks will cure you, no endoscopy is needed if they are sure it’s an ulcer. Good luck!
Which Boss in Bloodborne is your favorite Dave? Mine is Lady Maria from the DLC
Ludwig. If not Ludwig then Orphan of Kos. Both top 3 boss fights ever behind DS3’s Slave Knight Gael, who I just loved the shit out of.
have tried Sekiro? I think its a good mix of the Soulsborne formula and some interesting and polished mechanics, and you don’t need to read the wiki or watch 4 hours of YouTube to actually understand the story
I loved Sekiro, The only Souls-esque From games I haven’t played yet are DS2 and Demons Souls, which I plan on rectifying soon enough
I need more Elden Ring news and I hope they keep making games like Sekiro and Bloodborne, experimental variations on their own great formula
Lady Maria is my favorite boss battle in all of video games. The scene leading up to the fight is so good and she’s an absolute motherfucker to take down, but not in a frustrating or unfair way.
Ludwig is probably my #2, but Orphan of Kos gave me too much trouble and I still have nightmares of having to endure his screams when he attacks through like 60 tries my first time fighting him.
Huge fan of Bloodborne! It’s so underappreciated, being in the shadow of Dark Souls. Who’s your favorite NPC or questline in the Soulsborne series? I’m really partial to Eileen the Crow’s story.
I laughed my a** off once I saw that Thomas got cut. I looked to my sister, a ravens fan, and winked.
OK Dave, after this revelation I need to ask you a very important question;
Saw Cleaver, Hunter Axe, or Threaded Cane?
Threaded Cane, a gentleman of the hunt
I really wanted my favorite to be the Cane, because it’s so just so damn dapper, but it’s way too unwieldy for me when transformed. 🙁
If I ever get a PS4 again, I’m going to make sure I use a Threaded Cane, because everyone says it’s the worst, while what I went for on my first build (blindly) was the Hunter Axe, which everyone says is basically easy-mode and you can easily use from beginning to end of the game.
The Cane is the hardest starting weapon for sure and requires the most skill to use, but once you level it up to around +6 it becomes a monster
Minecraft or league of legends
I win Dave.
The bismuth in Pepto-Bismol kills Helicobacter pylori.
So it actually works on ulcers. Try it. Ulcers are actually a type of infection.
*SOME ulcers are. But yeah.
Hey Dave. Been an ulcer suffer for 20 years. Here’s some pro tips that helped me be more comfortable until I finally got treatment that worked.
– Sleep on your back or your side, propped up on pillows like a recliner if you can.
– Believe it or not, Pepto-Bismol.
– Eat as much bananas, rice, applesauce and toast as you can stand.
– Ask your doctor about something called Sucralfate. It’s basically stomach lining in a pill. The liquid stuff works even better, but it’s kind of a pain to take, so I normally do liquid when it’s bad and pill for maintenance.
Speaking as someone who did four ER visits thinking I was having a heart attack because the pain was so bad, you have my sympathy and solidarity.
Dave – Please be careful with those anti-acid meds! The prescription stuff is alright but do NOT do what I did and make a habit out of the calcium ones (such as Tums). It led to a kidney stone which you DO NOT WANT. Kidney stones are pure evil. Imagine a hand-grande packed with knives and shattered glass exploding repeatedly in the small of your back, hip, and/or groin. No bueno!
Took me a couple of years after that to realize my stomach issues were chronic and get it all straightened out with a gastroenterologist, but you’ll be amazed at what proper treatment can do! Best of luck, we’re rootin’ for you.
You mean the 17 year old that self defended himself from an Felon in illegal possesion of a weapon and some pedophiles?
* No self defense argument when you’re in the commission of a crime (which he was, transporting an unlicensed firearm across state lines)
* First victim was shot in the back, so no self defense. Second and third were shot while trying to disarm him after the first shooting.
* None of the victims show up on the national sex offender database, so that’s not true either
What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Lawyer says it wasn’t illegal. Also not self defense cause he is shot in the back? He hit him in the head with a skate board. You think if I shoot at you in your house but then turn my back, you can’t shoot me? Like that is some magic defense? LOL Grow up and learn how the real world works.
careful
your racism is showing