Bills Fans Get Married
First off, congrats to Mackenzie and Jordan, the very first couple to get married at halftime of an NFL game. That’s pretty neat! It is pretty damn cool that the Bills not only supported this, but they had multiple famous players in the wedding party and were officiated by Kyle Williams. That’s certainly a unique way to tie the knot. It was probably a nightmare to plan. I wish them many years of happiness. Apparently they are also from Rochester, so I hope their reception food was just a ton of garbage plates.
I’m not sure I’d want to get married during halftime of a game though. They have a cherished memory for the rest of their lives, and included in that memory is a painful Bills loss. If you are so dedicated to your football fandom that you get married during the game, I feel like you’d want to win the game. I imagine everyone who ever asks about their story when they tell it is going to ask if the Bills won.”We got married during an NFL game!” “Neat! Did they win?” “No! Josh Allen got knocked out with a concussion on a dirty hit and we lost painfully in a defensive slog!” What a story. Props to them though. It was still probably worth the memories.
I can’t believe they didn’t finish the ceremony by slamming through a table though. Waste of an opportunity.
In fact, not only did they not smash a table, the game featured no dildos. A travesty. Dildos on the field is one of the best Bills/Pats traditions in football. Tom Brady comes out and takes a big whomping rubber dick right to his head. Who doesn’t want to see this? Even Pats fans would probably find it funny. Some of them. The Dildo police were on high alert and probably had DSA agents set up at every entrance to the stadium. Screw the No Fun League. Give us the Dildos.
Anyway I want to give the Bills credit. After beating the Jets, Giants, and Bengals, I thought they were a paper tiger. They held their own against the Pats and the defense played great. Things obviously look a bit bleaker with Josh Allen getting knocked out but they aren’t as big a fakers as I suspected. I still think they are headed for a classic Bills “start strong then fade into 7-9 when everyone gets their hopes up” type Bills season, as is tradition. They have a manageable schedule if all teams stay their current course, but that rarely happens. I still don’t see them making the playoffs in a division with the Pats plus whatever wildcard contenders we get. But they might.
Come on if you could have gotten married at MetLife at half time you would have. If the lady approved of course
New England finally has real competition in the division and they murder the quarterback.
As if the entire country didn’t have enough reason to hate the Patriots already.
It was especially killer with the aftermath. First, the Pats player didn’t get ejected for an obvious dirty hit. He lowered the head and went helmet to helmet. If the Bill’s had done that to Brady there would be a hue and cry that was unimaginable.
Second, the refs called holding on the Bill’s on the same play, so not only did the Pats not see a single consequence, it actually nullified the play that had made it 4th and inches, meaning that Allen’s effort on the play was for nothing and that the hit was meaningless.
I will not even get to the interception that wasn’t and how Tom Brady threw an obvious intentional grounding that the refs whistled off.
F*ck those refs with a sandpaper wrapped dildo.
Let’s ignore the fact that Allen was running head first for the first down and is 40 lbs slighter than the guy he was tackling. Actually watch with the play with some objectivity before commenting on it. Allen was a runner trying to force a play. ALLEN lowered his helmet and was being his by one potential tackler already when Jones was getting ready to hit him to stop a first down. Considering Jones is also like 5’9″, the only way he can hit Allen in the head is if Allen also lowers his own helmet.
Allen was the one who lowered his head. it was basically the same reason Ezekiel Elliot got flagged a few years back. but I guess because it involves a QB and the Patriots we throw precedent and the 7 Inch height difference out the window. (Allen is 6’5 Jones is 5’9 so there’s no way Jones lowered his helmet and hit Allen in the head unless Allen lead with his helmet.)
Watching the replay it is obvious Allen deserves his share of the blame for the hit because he lowered his head and the Patriot wanted to lead with his shoulder. But I still see it as a rather unnecessary hit to begin with.
I also hate the idea that if it happened to Brady there would be a huge uproar. That’s probably true, but what makes it stupid is Brady would never put himself in that situation to begin with
I wouldn’t call it unnecessary, Allen is likely to drag his first tackler forward for a few more yards for a first down. It’s jones’ job in that situation to try and stop him short, what’s he supposed to do, let him have it? It’s unfortunate all around, but football is a violent game and some times bad stuff happens.
I agree with Dave here. Brady has played this long for a reason. He has had minimal injuries for a reason. He plays smart. Allen is a Brett Favre type player in that he isn’t afraid to take risks. Favre had a knack for throwing game breaking picks and home run touchdowns. He also had a ton of injury problems over the years that contributed greatly to pain pill addictions. Allen plays closer to that level than Brady’s safer style of play.
I beg to differ with your analysis of the situation.
1) Allen’s head is coming down because he’s being wrapped up and tackled. His momentum is carrying him forward and to the ground. Based on the tilt of his helmet, his view is actually so low that I don’t even think he can see Jones coming in.
2) Let’s ignore that point and say Jones was aiming with his shoulder. Launching yourself shoulder-first at a dude’s head is absolutely STUPID and merits some kind of punishment.
3) And even if we ignore THAT, the follow-through is absolutely egregious. He SLAMS Allen to the turf. If you require proof of this, watch Jones’ arm. He is throwing Allen down with FORCE. Allen’s head BOUNCES off of the ground.
I don’t even remotely understand how the NFL can suspend Burfect for the year, but this just merits a shrug:
https://twitter.com/PeteBlackburn/status/1178394496180072448
1) you can clearly see Allen’s head and upper body going down BEFORE Harmon contacts him. He’s bracing for contact, Harmon just brings him down slightly more.
2) he clearly tries to plant his body then turn to try and AVOID helmet to helmet contact, he didn’t launch, he’s trying to tackle a guy who has at least 40lbs on him and looked as though he was initially trying to deliver his shoulder into Allen’s chest.
3) he doesn’t slam him, a slam would require him to take him to the ground, Jones clearly remains standing in his spot
Jones is also like 5’9, the only way he’s going to get a clean helmet shot on Allen is if Allen helps him by coming down to his level, which he did.
Are you watching the same footage as me?
1) Allen’s motion is constant, not sudden. He takes the last ~3.5 steps with his head moving in a very predictable direction. A defender coming at him should be able to avoid his head in that scenario. Period.
2) I see no pivoting nor ANY attempt to avoid helmet to helmet contact. Jones plants only so that he can forcefully propel himself at Allen’s head. Weighing 40 lbs less than the guy you’re trying to tackle is NOT a green light to go after their head.
3) After collision, Jones uses his arm to add momentum to Allen in a DOWNWARD trajectory, with force. AKA a slam (akin to wrestling bodyslams). You can tell it is with force by the manner in which Jones’ right arm recoils. You can’t fool physics! Additionally, watch how high Allen bounces off of the turf. That’s not just gravity.
Ultimately, you can’t have helmet to helmet contact, period. Height and weight differentials are a miserable excuse. Whether Allen lowered his head or not, still not a good excuse. Notice how Jones doesn’t even open his arms to wrap him up? What kind of 5’9″ player tackles without opening his arms for the grab? Oh, yea, one who is aiming to coldcock someone…
At best, Jones didn’t care if he hurt Allen. At worst, he was actively trying to destroy him.
Clearly not, because you’re not even watching the same play.
1) Allen’s motion is not constant, he starts going low before Harmon even hits him, he goes even lower after harmos initial contact. You can clearly the the top of ALLEN’S helmet well before Jones even hits him, that’s called leading with the helmet if anything and that’s Allen’s fault.
2) watch the hit again without the sunglasses, he clearly shifts to his left to try and deliver a hit with his shoulder. If Allen doesn’t lower his entire upper body and continue to lower it as if he’s trying to truck Jones, Jones gets in a good solid hit to the abdomen/chest area. He had to hit him with force in order to stop him from getting a first down, wrapping up may not do that. Jones has a job to do and shouldn’t be prevented from doing so because Allen is an idiot. That’s not coldcocking someone, that’s knowing the the distance marker and what you need to do in order to prevent the runner from picking it up.
3) that’s called a tackle, a slam involved deliberately talking someone to the ground, Jones stood in his position and did not take Allen to the ground. You’re right, you can’t fool physics, but you can fail to understand them as you have done here. Football is a violent game and Jones recoils because he’s trying to hit a much bigger runner who has already established a head of steam. Of course they’re is going to be a recoil, that’s what happens when two people hit each other.
You clearly don’t watch much football, otherwise you would notice you have helmet to helmet on nearly every play. You have linemen constantly bashing the heads together and running backs smacking their heads into half a defense every play. This is similar to the kind of hit a running back might take if he gets into the second level. Yet I don’t see you complaining about any of those hits, only the one delivered by a Pat’s player when the runner in question was leading with his helmet.
In this case, height and weight aren’t an excuse, they are simple proof that Allen is responsible for his own injury. Allen is what 6’4″? Jones is 5’9 standing up. In this hit, Jones knees are bent putting him even lower. I ask you how he’s supposed to hit Allen in the head unless Allen is leading with his head. He can’t, Allen is clearly trying to drive his way to the first down just as a running back might. If he doesn’t want to take those hits, he should slide, not lead with his helmet, simple as that.
Thanks for articulating your viewpoint, although I still entirely disagree with it. Given that, I don’t see much point in debating it further, so let’s just slam into each other helmet first and call it a day. =P
These plays happen at full speed. Meaning the players commit to a course of action and then only instinctively respond when they have time. There was no time for any player involved in that hit to avoid anything worse than what happened. I’m no Tom Brady fan. This is what he said.
“A lot of quarterbacks who do run, they’re trying to make yards and it’s great. At the same time, you’re susceptible to big hits.
“Whether it’s flagged or not, or whether it’s a penalty, a lot of the rules have changed over the years, but from a quarterback’s standpoint I feel like it’s always best to try to be available to the team, and it’s trying to take risk/reward and so forth. Nobody likes to see anybody get hurt out there. From my own experience, I try to do the best I can to avoid any big shots like that.”
If you don’t put yourself in that spot, that hit doesn’t happen, you have a chance to play on and still lead your team to a win. Allen threw 3 picks and helped put his team in a place to not win so he felt the need to push to make a play that didn’t need to be made. Now, next week, MATT BARKLEY! will likely see the field.
>and how Tom Brady threw an obvious intentional grounding that the refs whistled off.
It’s alright, they hit him with a phantom intentional grounding call later on to make up for it.
It was so “obvious” that even noted Patriots-hater TONY DUNGY defended the Patriots player and said he didn’t know what else Jackson was supposed to do in that situation.
There are plenty of good reason to hate the Patriots. I hate when people create ones.
Real competition in the division? Are you serious?
Yes, I’m sure New England was in such a hurry to get rid of Josh Allen. The guy who threw them 3 picks, was air mailing passes all afternoon, and put the ball on the ground at least once was just that much if a threat. Allen’s back up actually did better and if New England was going to deliberately remove someone from the game don’t you think it might have been the running back who was single handedly keeping buffalo in the game?
They can’t even take losing to New England as a bad omen for their marriage because it is pretty much normalcy (33-3 in the TB12 era). My buddy from Rochester got married this year and was super jealous.
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Lol “dirty hit” is the stupidest take possible. He ran head first to try to get a first down instead of sliding. He took a crack to the head against a 5’9″ DB who was 40lbs lighter than him. But sure it’s not that Allen is a dumbass, it’s Jones got in a dirty hit. Shit like that happens to running backs every damn say but no one complains about it or even throws a flag. I guess because it’s a Pats player people think Jones should have just let him get the first down because anything that negatively impacts the pats is good. Allen was a runner by his own choice and not even remotely defenseless. There was really nothing Jones could have done to prevent that if you look at it with even the slightest bit of objectivity. 240lb QB scrambles, becomes a runner, goes head first for the first down instead of sliding, in the process of the play he lowers his head and gets brought even lower by a potential tackler, Jones hits him and it’s unfortunately helmet to helmet because he’s going/being brought lower during the course of the play. Jones didn’t deliberately go for the head or try to knock him out, he didn’t launch as it, it was just an unfortunate series of events where he was clearly trying to stop Allen from dragging the first tackler for a first down. Shit like this shouldn’t even be a flag because it was the natural progression of the play and the laws of physics, there’s nothing the player involved can do to prevent it and still make the play. So not only does Jones get a flag because Allen doesn’t know how to slide, now 90% of football viewers are calling him a dirty player because they hate a hate boner for the pats.
This was the comic I was hoping for when I read the headline Saturday from stadium officals that read “Bills Fans: Please don’t throw dildos on the field Sunday.”
Hit wasn’t dirty, Allen was a Runner, and Zeke got flagged for a similar play. so why is it dirty against the Defense when a QB does it?
If it happened to TB12 on a running play the defender would have gotten a life sentence.
TB12 wouldn’t be stupid enough to lower his helmet and try to truck a DB.
Flag should’ve been on Allen for spearing Jones
Football Zebras says the penalty was not for helmet to helmet, it was for hitting a defenseless runner – the runner was already being held up by the other tackler so he’s not allowed to haul off and hit him like that in that situation.
Or something. Whatevs. If it’s not the QB and it doesn’t look so awful it doesn’t get flagged at all.
Let’s go back to figuring out what is and isn’t pass interference.
>Even Pats fans would probably find it funny. Some of them.
Bet your ass I would.
Oh yes! Every NFL game should be a shower of dildos
I still think the Bills are a paper tiger. Josh Allen just isn’t that good. He has a TD/INT ratio of 0.5.
Half of those picks came against a New England defense that routinely eats young Qbs for breakfast. I think Josh will be fine, given that they allow him to recover so he doesn’t become Trent Edwards 2.0
Allen is being tackled from behind. He is already going down. Jones squares himself, leads with the head and collides directly with Allen’s helmet. He then celebrates, so it wasn’t accidental.
What should he have done? I dont know, going low to clean up the tackle on a teammate would have been a good start. I dont think he was planning to hurt Allen, he just didn’t care.
Which, you know, if we want to go back to the days of throwing licks on QBs I am all for it. But let’s not pretend that Brady isn’t treated like an endangered species. Two weeks ago, a Miami player was warned for by the refs for giving Brady a clean hit.
The double standard is jaw dropping. If such a hit is unavoidable I recommend the Bill’s get a couple of scrubs to deliver a few to Brady next game. Hey, if it’s only 15 yards, and there is “nothing else they could do” then what’s the problem?
He’s clearly leading with his shoulder and tries to turn his head away. The guy he’s trying to hit is 240lbs and trying to fight his way for a first down instead of sliding, that’s Allen’s fault, no one else’s. There’s no guarantee he actually goes down because some guy Allen has 35lbs+ on attempts to solo tackle him. Jones tried to hit him in a way to stop his momentum. If he goes low he risks missing or getting tossed aside or accidentally hitting him too low like in the knees. God forbid Allen get penalized for leading with HIS head and putting himself and other players in danger, you’re right, the double standards are jaw dropping. But then you casually suggesting that Bill’s players intentionally try and hurt an opponent as retribution for an injury their own player help cause shows how much of a scumbag you are personally. At least Brady would be smart enough to slide.
He wasn’t told to lay off Tom, he was told to lay off the QB, who just happened to be TB.
In other news, Vontaze Burfict got suspended without pay for that dirty hit on that Colts TE
THAT was a dirty hit. That bordered on attempted homicide
Dave, why didn’t you draw a dragon shaped dildo or a t rex named Stan?
DANNY DIMES 2-0 BABY! Super Bowl preview in Foxboro next Thursday night.
I prefer DJ Dimez. That way he sounds like he’s from Jersey.
Eli should pass down his 10 when he retires or leaves. That would make ‘Danny Dimes’ an infinitely cooler nickname.
I like that the bride’s bouquet was a bouquet of red dildos.