Bills Fans Get Some Nathan PetermINTs
I feel like I’ve been pretty harsh on the Bills as of late this year. Maybe I’ve been a little too mean. Maybe they deserve to not cry so much. But, in my defense, this is a team that is breaking down barriers on funny things happening to them. Nathan Peterman is only a small part of why 2018 has been a hilarious disaster for the Bills. I haven’t even been able to comment on all of it. Let’s recap.
– Finally made a playoff game after 17 years, scored 3 points.
– Jettison the not great but stable QB who got them there
– Traded for AJ McCarron to be the starter.
– Traded AJ McCarron away after he got banged up in preseason. They could probably use him right now.
– Openly cheer Andy Dalton more than their own team
– Employ Nathan Peterman, quite possibly the worst QB to suit up and start a football game.
– Continue to employ Nathan Peterman, even while he is throwing an INT on average 11% of his dropbacks.
– Seriously, they employ Nathan Peterman
– Drafted Josh Allen, widley considered the biggest probable bust of all the QBs, a raw rookie who needs to be taught a lot
– Have best lineman retire due to age and wear/tear after finally seeing a playoff game. The same playoff game where they scored 3 points.
– Have second best lineman, a literal crazy person, retire, then demand to come back so he can be traded and continue to have a breakdown
– Stick raw rookie behind now completely depleted offensive line
– Star running back is accused of sending goons to beat up ex
– Trade Sammy Watkins for fatter, slower, worse Sammy Watkins, who then proceeds to trash Cam Newton as a bad QB while dropping passes from Nathan Peterman and Josh Allen
– Somehow annihilate the Vikings
– Pick up Derek Anderson as backup, must now play him after being on the team 10 days
– Raw rookie QB hurts his throwing elbow and if mismanaged could ruin his entire arm (which is his one strength), stay tuned on that one
– Actually have a good defense?
Did I miss anything? I feel like I still missed things. This is the real meme team this year. We are about to watch Derek Anderson vs Tom Brady on Monday Night Football and honestly I’m mad about it. The Bills season is likely already over, at this point I want Nathan Petermints back there. I want to see him shatter the single game INT record. I want the Bills, for at least one game they are going to lose anyway, just go full into the tank. Throw Peterman in there and just let the disaster happen. Own it. Instead we’ll get to see Derek Anderson suck. He’ll be fun, but less fun.
Also, like, I have to bring this up, but Colin Kaepernick is available and is definitely better than these two losers. The season is lost, pick up the controversy and make a spectacle out of it. Do it, Bills. Do it. You won’t.
EDIT: How the hell did I forget Vontae Davis retiring at halftime my god this team
Bills should sign Kaep. It’s their destiny at this point
Plus people will get to see Kaep get beaten up so it’s a win/win.
The interception comic did it better than that grits commercial with the players from the 1970s Falcons.
Oh, we thought about it, but we just don’t have the Kaep space
kif-groan.gif
Also ironic since Donald Trump attempted to buy the Buffalo Bills in 2014. That would be hilarious if they sign Kaep.
Derek Anderson is still playing?
This is probably your funniest comic this year. Love it!
Now I’m waiting on the Arizona comic after Thursdays terrible game.
That comic should basically be David Johnson looking around and thinking “I am in Footballing Hell”, whilst Larry Fitzgerald pretends nothing is wrong.
Lol. I wish that tracker on IsAnyoneGoodThrowingToLarryFitzgerald.com was still up.
There’s also the guy who retired in the middle of a game. The Bills being so horrid broke his soul so badly that he couldn’t take it any more. Yeah, there’s already a comic about him, but it’s so downright hilarious that it should’ve been mentioned in the main post with the others.
There’s also the fact that before squishing the Vikings, the Bills went looking for them in south Wisconsin, because of course Minneapolis is in Wisconsin: https://twitter.com/SBNation/status/1043603591179718657
You’re right, Dave, this is the meme team of the year for sure. Pretty sure there’s going to be more hilarious moments coming from these guys until the end of the season.
Since Vontae quit, our defense has been top 3 in the league. I’m kind of glad that he did.
Fuck I already forgot Vontae Davis. Jesus this team
Wait, you literally did a comic on this only a few weeks back?
Get yourself checked out for CTE man!
http://www.thedrawplay.com/comic/vontae-davis-ends-his-nfl-career/
At last, a shirt that all of the AFC East can get in on.
That is a great shirt. As someone with no connection whatsoever to the Bills or the AFCE in general, I want that shirt.
Based on the font, it looks like one of those old No Mas “Naming Wrongs” shirts.
Whilst we all expect them to finally cut Peterman and sign a free agent, that would not be a very Bills thing to do.
They’re more likely to send picks and a good player to trade for a very average, inconsistent Quarterback.
Pickspatrick is coming to Buffalo 🙂
As long as he’s technically the backup, he’ll be Fitzmagic!
You know, the Browns have a stable but unspectacular backup QB they could send the Bills. He wouldn’t cost much either, maybe a couple thirds.
Drew Stanton?
Tyrod’s $16 million contract was the reason why the Bills traded him in the first place
The Colin Kaepernick thing usually bothers me (honestly don’t mind at all if he kneels, sits, lays down, rolls over, hops on one leg, etc. during the NA) but only for football reasons (lost starting job to Blag Nabbert!). He should definitely be a backup somewhere but at this point I think the media circus, which now extends to ALL. Like TMZ, Gawker, Fox News, CNN, ESPN and the National Enquirer would sitting outside lockeroom EVERYDAY. Because of that, I can see why GM can’t justify signing him.
But in this case they have no better options. Everyone remembers that Derek Anderson “one good season” but it was really only “5 or 6 games of above average QB play”. The Bills wouldn’t be too hurt by some media distraction (it might even make the – wow Bills are racist for the way they jettisoned Tyrod undertones that ESPN has been implying go away and make peeps forget about Shady’s drama), since I can’t imagine them winning another game anyways. Plus I’d wager he turns them down which would be EVEN funnier.
The thing is that Kaep was never really all that good in the first place. He’s been out of the game for too long at this point, so his football IQ is no doubt in the shitter. It would take half a season just to get back to bad Kaep I think and by that time he’d probably be injured. Ohh and why play if Nike pays you more to “sacrifice” anyway?
I also disagree that he was always bad. He had one and a half season worth of solid play with a very talented team around him. Then I think 4 things happened: (1) defenses figured out how to stop the 49ers run/pass option, (2) he bought into his own rushing hype after Green Bay and started running more, (3) his whole team retired, and (4) he spent that 2013 off-season working out way too much with free weights and it messed with his throwing mechanics. He came back from the off-season super jacked (there was a whole bunch of articles about it), but couldn’t throw accurately at all. It’s not like he was crazy accurate to begin with, but he made some impressive throws. I think a combination of these things messed him up for football, then he lost his job and his QB abilities death spiralled.
This is accurate. People who say Kaep was never good clearly forgot the dude almost led the 9ers to a fucking Super Bowl. When the team around him was stable, Kaep was good, even occasionally great. Then everything fell apart around him and he regressed as a result. People who think Kaep was never good are just revising history.
Kaep’s never seeing a football field again but it’s not because of his skill level. Even bad Kaep would easily find a job in this league.
not to mention the college style RPO-heavy offense that’s wreckin the league plays to his strengths.
The sad part/ironic part is all the media coverage basically made him unsignable. Some people like to point to Tebow as an example of my logic failing, but Tebow never made TMZ front page nor got anyone accussed of being “literally Hitler” if they disagreed with his opinions. I’m also confident Bellicheck only did it because he thought he could convince Tim Tebow to transform into some unholy cross between Gronk and Ryan Mallett.
Dude. Not getting a field level view of the Blaine Gabbert Huck and Duck offense is a huge sacrifice.
Obvious Point
At 2-4 , the Bills still have a better record than the Giants , Raiders , Colts , Cardinals & 49’ers.
We have had Raiders , Giants & Colts comics so far, but those others need a comic Dave. They’re all equally dumpster fire.
9ers have a comic
Definitely the Raiders. Good Lord. Someone even made this for Gruden: http://isgrudengoneyet.com/
The colts aren’t a very interesting bad and the Cardinals will get their due after that disaster last night
The 49ers had a comic
Fair point. Aside from Irsay being a horrific human being & Luck being broken all the time (which you’ve done several comics on that), the only interesting thing about the Colts is Adam Vinatieri being about 90 years old and still one of the best kickers in the league. He only needs to play a few more years to surpass George Blanda.
He’s still accurate yeah, but isn’t he losing strength? I know they were having the punter do kickoffs a year or two ago. Is that still going on?
They got shut out by the Packers, who hadn’t shut anyone out since 2010 and the Packers’ defense isn’t that good.
Lmao at all the “Kaepernick was never good” takes in the comments. He was very good but at this point it’s been too long and he’ll never get another chance, he’ll only be brought up as clickbait from now on.
He’d especially be an upgrade for the Bills but at this point with their QB of the future hurt they just want to tank in peace. #DerekAndersonSZN
Can I politely point out that Eric Wood didn’t quit, his neck is toast and doctors say he could be paralyzed if he keeps playing. Everything else is pretty fair.
Dave didn’t say he quit. Dave said he “retire[d] due to age and wear/tear after finally seeing a playoff game. The same playoff game where they scored 3 points.”
The team is both cursed and incompetent.
They’re going to play a QB they picked up 10 days ago? Reminds me of Josh Freeman with the Vikings. They’re playing a MNF game with said QB?! OH MY GOSH, IT IS JOSH FREEMAN WITH THE VIKINGS!
I remember how promising he was, then the second half of 2012 happened and it all went downhill.
HUP!
(also please tell me that’s an actual shirt)
Don’t Forget! The Bills Mafia aren’t allowed to do “their thing” of breaking tables anymore. Has an event scheduled by an ex-player, and then had to cancel it due to the fact that table breaking fun the stadium lot is now considered law breaking.
I really wish Bills fans could come up with an alternative. Can’t break tables? Break a whole shitload of chairs. The following week when chairs are also outlawed break some chaise lounges. When they finally outlaw breaking of any furniture start busting chandeliers. It would be spectacular.
I’m genuinely wondering how the Bills had all the resources they did during the 2018 offseason and managed to come out with a worse situation at QB.
im shocked no one here has commented on the dudes shirt
wide right mangggg
A
At least our defense is elite. The giants lone bright spot is Saquon, and seriously, what kind of GM passes on a QB at 2 to draft an RB? Have fun with Eli’s corpse.
But yeah, we suck. It’s just that you guys suck worse.
Awww look how mad you are it’s so cute
Im so mad dave how are we so bad please end my life
Bills Rest-of-season predictions:
– Bills punt on 3rd down one time
– Bills run a play with 9 men on the field
– Bills lose to Colts this Sunday 6 to 4 in overtime
– Bills annihilate the Patriots in Foxboro right before Christmas, costing the Pats a bye and improving their record to 5-10
– Bills fly Kyle Williams to *Hawaii* for the Pro Bowl
– Bills move to St. Louis
“– Bills lose to Colts this Sunday 6 to 4 in overtime”
I love the idea that the Bills somehow manage to force two safeties and otherwise do not score.
And also let up 3 safetys themselves
One safety down, only 1 more to go.
Dang, so close… underestimated the Bills’ point output by 1 and their safety count by 1…
Hey, quick story about Nathan Peterman.
Nate was my neighbor growing up in Jacksonville. We both loved the Jags. He was that classic showy jock, went through girlfriends like he goes through possessions. I was that shy kid. Naturally, we were best friends. Anyway, one day during our junior year in high school, he threw a HUGE party, but it was intercepted and run back 98 yards for a touchdown.
nice