Mychal Kendricks Gives Some Insider Tips
At this point everyone has more or less made this joke already, including myself. I made this comic more or less so that when I go back through my archive years from now, I remember this moment. The moment when an NFL player got busted for white collar crime. Like…that happened. We finally got one. Mychal Kendricks you are a pioneer.
Seriously. Think about it. How often do NFL players get in trouble? Often enough. What are the causes? DUIs. Drugs. Steroids. Domestic abuse/violence. Sexual assault. Assault of some other nature. Something with guns involved. ACTUAL MURDER. How often do we get white collar crimes like insider trading? That’s stuffy white people business crime! That’s a crime for suits, not uniforms! This never happens! Maybe it happens post-NFL to some players, but I can’t think of an example and I’d never expect it to happen to a current player. Mychal Kendricks, I want to be mad at you, but I’m honestly just kind of proud. Thank you for proving that NFL meatheads can break through stereotypes and be evil in other ways.
Seriously for all I can recall, we have more players somehow directly involved in murder cases (Hernandez, Rae Carruth, Ray Lewis) than white collar stuff. Who says the newest generations are dumber? This man looked at the NFL landscape, looked at his pocketbook, and decided to make bank both on and off the field. The balls on this guy. Now apparently he wasn’t very good at it since he got caught and was apparently pretty brazen about it. But still! Insider Trading! Mychal Kendricks is the Martha Stewart of the NFL. Soon he’ll be out of prison making cooking shows with Snoop. Can’t wait.
So shame on you, Kendricks. Be a better person. But thank you for proving that NFL players are smart enough to do crime other than the typical stereotypes. Thank you for breaking this glass ceiling. I look forward to finding out Russell Wilson funnels money into offshore bank accounts soon.
To everyone who is inevitably going to ask WHERE IS THE NEXT MONEY COMIC DAVE settle down. Like 3 dudes got mad bank this week, gonna require some time to plan that one out.
Dude where’s the Money Comic
Maybe he actually WAS mad about the idea of going to the Browns, so he did this to get cut, plus get a few bucks on the side.
Too bad Dave didn’t touch on that weird episode three-ish months ago, of Kendricks cursing out reporters for asking him about newly signing with the Browns.
You would think a guy who commits financial fraud would fit right in with a Jimmy Haslam team.
Biggest white collar crime since Eli’s shitty memorabilia scandal.
WE GOT KHALIL MACK. HAHAHA WE FLEECED CHUCKY
I don’t even know what to feel and I’m a Bears fan.
But if nothing else, we can watch Sexy Rexy II in KC and Jay Cutler II in Buffalo. Seriously, look at both of them and tell me they aren’t.
Calling Josh Allen, Jay Cutler, is very kind. Jay Cutler was actually good in college.
Allen is more Kizer than Cutler.
Congrats, now we don’t have to worry about the Geno Smith curse for an extra two weeks
The rare trade where both sides got screwed. The only one who came out of that trade in a better position than he started is Mack.
Oh what the hell
Guess we might not see the next chapter of the Money Wars with Rodgers getting paid again on Tuesday.
Something crazy’s going on in Oakland. Something damn crazy.
CHUCKY GRUDEN DA HELL YA DOIN
Ray Lewis’s murder case was somewhat white collar.
Ba-dum-tiss
braVO sir
10/10
Fuckin Italians
Might want to hold onto that money comic for a hot second. Yes Rodgers, yes Donald, but now Khalil Mack is heading to Chicago….the money verse might implode on itself.
You know what crimes I miss – the crazy sex scandals of the late 90s/2000s with ties to Atlanta. Gold Club (one of the best ever), the Vikings Love Boat (the dancers we’re flown in from Atlanta), Chipper Jones knocking up a Hooters waitress, Eugene Robinson, crazy Magic City stories. I never understood why Atlanta wasn’t a bigger free agent destination.
lol just combine all 3 dudes into one massive superstar and you won’t have to worry about making three different comics. It’ll be the Three Amigos
Now add Mack to that mad money pile: Khalil Mack and the Bears just reached agreeement on a record-setting 6-year, $141 million extension ($23.5M per year avg) that includes $90M guaranteed and $60M at signing.
Good on you for sitting on the money comic. My thought on the last comic comment section already became outdated.
well, since the crime was insider trading, this KIND OF is a money comic… not elite moneys, but still…
For a second I was really confused because it looked like you gave Hue hair.
another listing of NFL players who murdered that forgot OJ