Beating a Deflated Horse
Tom Brady’s attempt to appeal again didn’t work. The 4-game suspension shall stand. Tom Brady will go winless in September and I get to make primo Janeane Garafolo jokes for a month. I’m pretty pumped. Sadly, those four weeks will probably be the last huzzah of Chernoball. The Horse is dead. The fallout will finally settle as Brady comes back in and tears the league a new asshole for daring to oppose him. It’ll be like if the Death Star managed to blow up Yavin 4 and just went on a rampage through the galaxy destroying all planets harboring the rebel alliance and then they go and blow up the Endor just to stick it to the Ewoks anyway. Then Brady will join the Golden State Warriors and do it all over again.
There is a chance Brady submits the case to the Supreme Court and this drags on even longer but the chances seem slim. The Supreme Court isn’t going to see this nonsense and he has to realize there is almost no chance of winning it anyway after the most recent attempt failed. I think the only thing Brady can do is submit the case, which means he’ll be able to play while the case remains in the system waiting approval. I think. I will fully admit my knowledge of the justice system is incredibly poor so if any of you legal goons in the comments understand this better please do so.
I’ll miss this mess. From a sports commenter/satrist standpoint it was possibly the best thing to ever happen and I have no regrets in how many times I made jokes and pissed off Pats fans even when they turned out to be right. This horse may finally be dead, but this horse was a mighty powerful beast that gave us so much joy. Rest in Peace, world’s dumbest sports scandal.
Bring on that Garafolo!
Everyone knows that media loves scandals, but did Tom Brady’s deflated balls really have to be a subject of attention lasting about a year and a half? Honestly.
On another note, sometimes going deep is a strategy that works with catching Pokemon.
Winless in November? You mean September, Dave? Unless you know something I don’t…
As a patriots fan:
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
Lol
Keep in mind that the Patriots will play at Arizona the first game, then will play the Dolphins, Texans, and Bills at Gillette. Then Bradys first game back will be at Cleveland.
I am legitimately not scared at all. We will probably only lose one game out of those first five if Brady does indeed get suspended, so he should take the hit now just in case the Patriots get a tougher schedule next year.
Your blind optimism knows no bounds. I’ve seen the Pats struggle early with all those teams even with Brady at QB. They are notorious for having slow starts to their season. You’d be lucky as hell to come out 3-1 while throwing a completely unproven QB to the wolves like that. Those are 4 very talented defenses, 3 of them could be considered AT LEAST top 10 if not top 5.
I’m factoring in homefield advantage, Belichek’s coaching, and the fact that not a lot of people really know what Jimmy is going to bring to the table. That might wind up tipping the scales in our favor, though JJ Watt and playing away for the first game will definitely be major challenges. It might be a more realistic guess to say that it will be 2-2, but I am ptetty sure we are still going to get into the playoffs.
Not really “blind optimism”. Besides Arizona, those are all very winnable games honestly.
LOL the Patriots have more weapons than you think if you think Garoppolo will singlehandedly cause them to implode. The Patriots had one of the better defenses in the league themselves, mind you
Cleveland should ready their postieriors
Not gonna lie, I think we’re going to blow the Cleveland game. New England seems to always struggle against the Browns for no reason.
But this time you’ll have a pissed off Tom Brady. Are you really going to bet against a pissed off Tom Brady?
Man, Cleveland really can’t catch a break
Let’s be honest. We all want this in the supreme court. This time last year deflategate was the last thing any fan wanted to hear about but now no holds barred.
Also, it’s pretty funny to see Sam in the comics.
It could still get there. The Supreme Court sometimes hears celebrity cases on a lark – Anna Nicole Smith’s estate made it up to the high court twice.
i’d pay good money to see dave draw the justices of the supreme court
I stopped caring about deflategate a while ago. It’s a joke now. It’s been a joke from the start. It will always be a joke.
That being said, I’m not excited to see New England lose 45-3 against ‘Zona.
Your defense is really good, no way in hell you give up 45 unless Garoppolo turns the ball over like 4 times.
That’s exactly my point. Arizona’s defense is one of the best in the league, so it wouldn’t surprise me to see him turnover quite a bit in that game.
Brady will destroy the league just like he destroyed the Broncos and out scored Peyton Manning in last years playoffs… oh wait!
Last year’s AFC came down to home field advantage. Don’t think Peyton would have won in Foxborough.
<— Broncos fan
Did anybody else notice that in the Denver game, Brady’s throws looked like poo (overthrows, underthrows, INTs, etc) almost as if… wait for it… he couldn’t GET A DECENT GRIP ON THE BALL??? Just sayin’
I think a deflated ball is naturally more difficult to throw though
Brady can request that the appellate court stay their ruling while he appeals to the Supreme Court, and if that is denied, he can request that the Supreme Court stay the ruling while he appeals. If the stay is granted by either court, then Brady would get to play at least until the Supreme Court decided whether to take the case. If the court did take the case, then the ruling would remain stayed until the Supreme Court made a final decision.
The risk of that strategy is that, depending on when the Court made its decision, Brady’s suspension could be reinstated during the stretch run, rather than during the first 4 games of the season. I don’t know whether the suspension could bleed into the playoffs, because I can’t find anything reliably reporting the terms of the suspension in enough detail to know whether it could be imposed outside of the regular season.
If it reaches the Supreme Court I expect one of two things to happen. A Deadlock meaning Suspension stands.
OR one of the conservative Justices crosses meaning Brady plays.
One thing to remember: this case is no longer about footballs. It’s about contract and arbitration law.
I hope it gets delayed a bit. I need Arizona to lose week one.
Well it looks like Brady’s giving up anyway, so his haters can rejoice I guess…
ITS OVER FINALLY
Nope, NFLPA has said they don’t care that Tom’s done fighting because they’re not. It’s on life support, but it’s not dead yet!
The moral of the story is to ensure your Union doesn’t give control of discipline to ONE PERSON. Haha, Brady.