The Most Valuable Chokers
I find it really funny that both Steph Curry and Cam Newton were both chokers and lost in spectacular fashion in their respective championships. In late 2015 a big deal was being made about how the two of them are buddies. Presumably because Steph spent his childhood in Charlotte watching his dad play for the Hornets, and Cam Newton is now the face of North Carolina sports.
Both players became MVPs by leading their teams to historic seasons. Both were hyped to an insane degree over the course of their seasons. Cam Newton is the new face of football. Steph Curry is the new face of basketball. Both are Under Armour spokesmen. Although there are differences. Cam is a gigantic freak of nature, closer to Lebron, while Curry has pretty much become a household name by being “the everyman”, because he’s relatively small and dorky and has a cute kid. Also he has a terrible beard. Seriously. PSA TO ATHLETES: PUBIC HAIR GOATEES ARE BAD. STOP GROWING THEM.
But they both flamed out when it mattered. Cam was broken by the Broncos defensive line. Steph didn’t look like himself throughout the entire playoffs. I know he got hurt, but he seemed to look fine physically as time went on. He played just terribly in the final game. Now both of these stars are sad puppies and the schadenfreude is delightful. I like Cam a lot but seeing the Panthers and the bandwagon get knocked down a peg was fun. I don’t like Steph much. It’s kind of an irrational hate. I just hate his face, his pube beard, and his dad shoes.
His damn Dad Shoes. Under Armour must be in a panic. They released the MVP’s newest shoe line the day before game 5, presumably under the impression the Dubs would win and they’d rake in the sales. Instead twitter hounded the shoes mercilessly and the Dubs cracked and lost to the mighty Lebron, who is a Nike spokesman. Although actually, maybe UA are fine. I still think the shoes look exactly like the plain white sneakers my mother has worn for 30 years. Good for my mom, not exactly the look you want for an NBA superstar.
Two comics in a row about the Warrior’s loss? Plz stop. My eyes only have so much liquid.
mmm yes yes, your anguish sustains me
Big guys made Cam and Steph sad
I hate the NBA Finals trophy. It looks so dumb. The Lombardi trophy on the other hand is cool
Let’s not forget Jordan Spieth choked in the Masters this year, and he’s also sponsored by Under Armour.
video of his collapse —> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHyq5zzFanU
That means Under Armour athletes are 3 for 3 when it comes to choking this year.
‘Course, Steph already got his last year.
Interesting to note that now, in all four major leagues the team with the best regular season record did not win the title. 15/16 Warriors, 07 Patriots, 1906 Cubs/2001 Mariners, and 95/96 Red Wings.
I like the shoes. I want a pair, as long as they are under $40.
Good news! They are $120! Oh wait that’s the opposite of what you want
Just visit your local Payless
I honestly thought you would reference the 07 Patriots
Ha, those Curry shoes do look like Under Armour just peeled off the K Swiss logos. Still, I want UA (and Reebok, I think they are still in the game) to succeed if only to mix up the Nike-Adidas duopoly that has largely seized control of the basketball shoe market.
At various points when I was a kid, you could go to a store and find basketball shoes from K Swiss, Fila, British Knights, LA Gear, Keds, Pony, Converse, and1, Asics, Spalding, Champion, and others. I used to play in a YMCA league in a pair of ridiculous-looking British Knights.
Somebody on Jimmy Kimmel’s Mean Tweets told Steph about his pubey facial hair, but I guess the message didn’t get through to him.
Considering that isn’t Curry’s complexion you better not trigger anybody with it. All I heard about between LeBron vs Curry is dark skin vs light skin. It was terrifying.
Where did you find that angle? I didn’t hear anything like that, thankfully.
BS social media posts. Way too many ignorant people on the internet.
I feel like I’m the only person who kinda likes Curry’s New Balance knockoff shoes. Flashy shoes look great in sports, but kinda silly off. Most people buying them are wearing them around, not on the court, same way most tennis shoes never see a tennis court. I like it as a basketball shoe that doesn’t scream “stop staring and either play me one on one or mug me already”
That might be extreme but it is funny how most people who wear athletic shoes don’t even participate in sports. Especially the girls.
It’s true, you won’t get any weird attention with these, you can wear them day to day!
for 120 dollars! You could buy two pairs of shoes that look exactly the same for that price
That’s true of most signature basketball shoes though. Sure they’re a bit flashier and brighter, but they’re mostly pretty consistent with non signature basketball shoes in that regard. With every signature shoe, you’re paying at least half the price because of who wears it.
There was a woman at the parade yesterday wearing a pair of KDs. I wanted to call her out for it, but it wasn’t worth my time or the potential repercussions of insulting a drunk woman’s shoes.
At least they weren’t Curries.
*Currys
I know that’s probably right, but it still makes my brain itch, since curry is a real word that pluralizes a particular way.
Thing made me happier than seeing the GSW Bandwagon silenced like that. GSW bandwagons are the worst people ever. They know literally nothing about basketball and are the biggest hypocrites on the planet. Want to know how? Go onto any Game 4 highlight video and look at all the old comments by GSW “fans”. They’re probably talking about how Cavs fans can’t make any excuses for losing because they had all the guys they needed.
Now, go onto a game 5 video and look at all the comments by GSW “fans”. Probably notice a lot of them saying shit like “If we had Green…” or something like that. Basically doing the very thing they said Cavs fans can’t do.
Then there are the ones who have continued to talk about how the series was rigged for the Cavs (I could go on and on about why they’re totally wrong in every way but that’s for another time). Early on, it was rigged to get more money from the series, now it was rigged to give LeBron another ring. Notice the trend here? The bitches are making excuses as to why they lost. The very thing they said Cavs fans weren’t allowed to do.
The Panthers bandwagon got pretty bad, no doubt, but they were never THAT insufferable. They knew when to take the Loss and move on.
Hey, maybe you can make a comic on the series totally being rigged according to GSW bandwagons.
LOL I can’t say that the bandwagoners are worse than the people who hate them because of the bandwagon
Hate bandwagons are annoying as well, but GSW bandwagons legitimately piss me off.
Also, nothing**
But I’ve been with them Splash Brothers from the start! Before everybody called me a bandwagon fan! Since ’06 man. I live in Oakland.
-every Warriors fan ever
>claims series is rigged against gsw
>ignores the fact that that would mean the conference championship was also rigged to get them past okc and to ignore green’s nutshotting
Bandwagon fans have the funniest cognitive dissonance
The Curse of the Panthers is on.
How can it be a curse of golden state already won a championship last year?
I hope the next one has Kevin Love. I love me some good ole Kevin Love
Or #DELLY
Tristan Thompson since he actually did more than those two combined?