The Chargers Vs The Chargers
I didn’t intend to use the truck crash template two Wednesdays in a row, I really didn’t. But as I watched the Chargers complete their epic meltdown against Houston my mind was full of images from Chargers history. The playoff collapse against Jacksonville. The 14-2 playoff collapse that got Marty Schottenheimer fired. All of those meltdowns against the Chiefs and other teams in primetime through the years. I thought to myself: how have I NOT already done this exact joke? The Chargers Chargering is on the Mt Rushmore of organizational failure memes (Feel free to discuss what the other 3 should be, one must be Vikings-related).
I even scoured my archives to make sure I hadn’t done so and forgot. I did find these two former gems.
The Chargers should have won that game. They were assumed to win that game by pretty much everyone, including many Houston fans. Yet they not only Chargers’d, they found a brand new way to Chargers. They normally melt down at the end of games in some way. They rarely Chargers away a game on a first-half drive. Despite the low score the game did not feel close for the vast majority of that first half. The Texans fumbled the opening play and they could barely get a yard on offense for most of two quarters. The defense held up to keep them out of the endzone, but the vibes for Houston were very bad. The Chargers pin them perfectly at the one-yard line. Houston narrowly escapes a safety, manages a first down, and then a disastrous snap sends CJ scrambling to pick up the ball. He does so, chucks it to a wide-open Hutchinson, and if you believe in momentum, that’s the moment everything broke.
Houston marched the field. The Chargers then committed a stellar self-own by taking a time out when it appeared Houston would likely score. Instead of making Houston worry about the clock in that final stretch, the Chargers played a card that anticipated they’d get the ball back and have a chance to score. Houston scored, and the Chargers get the ball back. They waste about 20 seconds. They are forced to punt the ball back to Houston, who has all 3 timeouts. CJ scampers for a big run to set up a field goal. The Chargers allow two scores in less than a minute of play to enter the half down 10-6 after leading 6-0 for most of the game. They never recovered. Outside one single glorious bomb to Ladd McConkey, the Chargers were dead. They couldn’t even enjoy the touchdown because the PAT would get blocked and returned for a score.
Wind will blow. Waves will crash upon the shore. Birds will soar through the skies. The sun will set, and the sun will rise. The Chargers will Charger. There is no escaping what is natural.
Chargers, Vikings, Falcons and Bills ought to be the Rushmore of choking. I’d say the Browns but they’re so bad they haven’t even been relevant for nearly 40 years.
This;
Put Scott Norwood (Wide Right I) & Gary Anderson’s 1998 miss on the ends & put Marlon McCree (06 int to fumble) & Matt Ryan in the middle.
Also, Justin Herbert is still under .500 for his career as a starting QB. How is he better than Tua again?
Isnt he 41-38?
Can we not start the Tua/Herbert debate here, come on. Don’t be these guys
https://www.thedrawplay.com/comic/tuanon/
How are either of them better? They both sucked against the Texans 🙂
Mount Rushmore probably has to be Chargers, Jets, Browns, and Vikings, in no particular order.
Excellent twist on the format. The expression on Bosa’s face at the end is so well done.
Statistical proof of ¨Chargering¨
Before the botched snap:
Offense: 5 drives 0 points 23 plays 66 yards 2.87 y/p 3 Punts 2 Turnovers
CJ Stroud: 8/14 67yds 0td 1int 39.8 rtg
Joe Mixon: 5att 16yds
Nico Collins: 2rec 18yds
After the botched snap:
Offense: 5 drives 23 points 46 plays 350 yards 7.6 y/p 1 punt 1 turnover
CJ Stroud: 14/19 215yds 1td 0int 128.2 rtg; 4att 44yds
Joe Mixon: 20att 90yds 1Td; 1 rec 13tds 1fmbl
Nico Collins: 5rec 104yds 1Td
Put the Vikings on it, but they’re not with the rest. They’re wide right.
Wouldn’t the Bills be wide right?
Yeah, the Vikings are wide left.
Ah crap, you guys are right. Thanks for the correction!
They can’t blame this one on signal-stealing and Vernon Perry.
With the possible exception of the bucs, every losing team this weekend could have had a truck crash comic. It’s always relevant and somehow still fresh.
“Oh fuck! A game with legitimate, enormous stakes!” say the Vikings.
… or for the Vikings it could be a variation on the Chargers one but instead of running into another Vikings truck it collides with a viking longship and they both catch fire and float down the Mississippi
TBH I think the vast majority of NFL teams have some variation of “If you don’t like [insert painful thing], you don’t like [insert team] football”, or “They [team]ed it”, or “That’s the most [team] thing that could possibly happen” when something goes horribly wrong in some way. When only one can win the Superbowl each year, the pain comes for everyone else at some point or another, it’s just different flavors of heartbreak.
“Same Old Dolphins” has been an oft repeated refrain for pretty much my entire life.
My top four team stereotypes:
Charger’s, Chargering
Falcon’s, Blowing leads or losing in creative ways
Viking’s, disastrous moments in playoffs
Steeler’s, sustained mediocre acceptableness
Other teams’ things that come to my mind-
Cowboy’s, Playoff frauds
Saint’s, always second fiddle for awards and iconic losses
Lion’s, lovable losers (for now?)
Brown’s, hateable losers
Raven’s, always one sided Off/Def
Bear’s, QB or not QB is never a question
Tampa Bay, It just takes some time, in the middle most the time
Titan’s, We exist
Colt’s, sleazy ownership
Texan’s, Where QB’s cannot stay healthy
Jaguar’s, Care for a spot of tea gov’ner?
Raider’s, Just meddle with the team baby!
Packer’s, Obnoxious owners (fans) and good QB’s
Patriot’s, Glory days
49’ers, Championship game or bust!
Ram’s, No city wants us! also, F them picks
Panther’s, Random flashes of brilliance
Bronco’s, ‘Member Elway? ‘Member Peyton? I ‘member
Cardinal’s, We have grass in the desert!
Eagles, Team would be more liked if the fan’s didn’t suck
Giant’s, A New York based team that is not widely hated
Jet’s, Franchise history summarized by a Butt Fumble
Dolphin’s, NFL’s only solar powered team
Seahawk’s, Middle of the road but loud
Bill’s, Fans you love and also would never want to fight
Commie’s, Actively proving ownership matters
Chief’s, Suffering from success
Bengal’s, always seem better than the record
Texans: Where something will always go wrong after finally doing something right
That works even better, Texan’s was the hardest one to come up with. All I know is that ya’ll tend to have good seasons get derailed by QB injuries. The Carr years, Schaub and Rosenfells, the TJ Yates game, and mentally unhealthy in Watson, etc.
Regardless, all football fans outside of KC are rooting for the Texans this weekend.
The Chargers were outscored 32-6 after Harbaugh was captured by the Dirty Bubble
Viking got to skol, Bronco got to rear,
Charger got to tell himself this is his year
Bill got to break tables, Eagle got to fly
Charger got to sit and wonder why why why
Texans
We have a young QB on the rise
Joe Mixon pounding the rock
Our defense is one of the best
The Chiefs are frauds! This is our time!
Hey what’s that?
HUGE WALL IN MIDDLE OF ROAD: DIVISIONAL ROUND
Car crashes into wall, explodes