During the game against the Arizona Cardinals Tua took off on a scramble for a first down and slid, safely, without letting anyone near him. The crowd let out an uproarious cheer, the loudest pop of the day (especially as the Dolphins would go on to blow the game at the end). At first I was happy. It should be a happy thing, right? The franchise guy is back, and he did the move everyone begs him to do. But it felt…dark. Here is a guy getting the loudest stadium cheer of the day because he didn’t slam his head into a player and get concussed. That’s dark. That’s actually rather depressing. We are cheering on a guy for doing something normal because he has a history of alarming head trauma and just came back from a month absence after suffering another horrific concussion when he didn’t slide. It just feels bleak.

There was a post online recently that mentioned that we seem to have reached a sort of acceptance stage regarding head trauma. I agree. We have. When Tua went down against the Bills earlier this year we had another loud outcry for a day of countless people calling for Tua to retire. Former players like Bart Scott confessed that he retired due to weird head symptoms he did not like. Lots of fans, including Dolphins fans, talked about how they didn’t want to watch Tua do this to himself. He has a family. Football is just a game. Let it go, take care of yourself. It was just lip service. Just the usual discourse that dominates headlines for a day and then vanishes. I didn’t even bother doing a comic or real mention about it at the time. Tua was never going to retire from this. I’m honestly surprised so many people thought he might. If Tua is going to retire due to head trauma, it’ll be far down the road or he will have to get way more fucked up first.

McDaniel mentioned during Tua’s comeback that he saw many doctors and none of them told him to stop playing football. That feels like a very specific sort of phrasing to avoid the question. We don’t know exactly what doctors he saw. We don’t know what tests were run. I’m guessing they all told Tua that he can play football. He probably went into every meeting asking if he can still do it, and those doctors probably told him sure. The irony is the human body probably shouldn’t play football period but that’s a dark fact that every single one of us pushes to the side every day so that we can enjoy it.

I think a lot of players are just accepting of it. I think most fans, even with the Tua thing, are honestly just accepting of it. No sport comes without risks. The insidious nature of brain trauma is how invisible it is, and how long-term it is. Tua looks fine. He probably feels fine. If there is damage in there, he’s young and healthy enough that it’s likely invisible. We can’t diagnose a lot of brain problems like CTE on living patients yet. Brain trauma is like radiation damage. It might be years before you see the effects and by then it’s too late. That’s why he’s going to need to get way more fucked up before he considers retirement. It’s so easy to push to the side. Players are doing it even if they understand the risks. Fans like us are doing it because none of us are going to be watching Tua when he’s retired, 50 years old, struggling to remember things, having splitting headaches, and acting out of character. We just enjoy these guys in their prime and forget about them once they are off the team on gameday.

I hate getting depressing like this because I genuinely love this dumb sport but I think we all need to just have the occasional sobering reminder about the reality of it so we don’t let ourselves become too accepting of the problems. I’m happy the guardian caps are starting to be worn by certain players (ironically not Tua, even though his teammate De’Von Achane had a minor scare and immediately started using it). The Guardian cap looks stupid as hell and I hope they can make better helmets to replace it’s uses, but if it helps out there, we need more of it. If any of you watched the Manningcast a couple weeks ago with Ed Reed you’ll probably remember when he spent the entire time sounding exactly like a guy who spent his whole career launching himself like a missile at other men, and then he went off on a giant deeply uncomfortable rant about the guardian cap while the Mannings tried desperately to change the subject and get him off the call. I know Ed Reed is not alone in his opinions. It’s bleak.

I wish Tua the best in his return and I hope to fucking god he keeps his head safe so we can keep watching him for a long time.