The Draw Play

I had a tweet about the Browns do respectable numbers last week. I was mostly taking my weekly shit on Watson but it did spark an internal debate. Is this actually the nadir of the Browns since they came back into existence in 1999? Upon reflection, I think it is. As it stands right now, anyway.

The obvious low point before this current era would be the 2016-2017 era Browns that were helmed by Hue Jackson and went 1-31. One of the absolute worst stretches a franchise has ever gone through, worse than the 2008 Lions and at least on par with the first two years of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, who went 0-26 before winning their first game. That Browns era was deeply depressing and even managed to generate a parade to celebrate their failures. But looking back on that team today, it still felt better than this. That large amount of losing was in fact partly planned, an attempt to game the draft system to load up on high-value picks. It is the most obvious intentional tanking any NFL team has ever done, and even while they still managed to be worse than expected there was this understanding that it was just a tunnel they had to get through. There was always hope underpinning the misery. You had to buckle down and grit through the shit, but the team would be set up to start truly fresh on the other side. Especially once they ditched Hue Jackson. And also Freddie Kitchens, mistakes still got made.

But on the other end of that mess, the Browns did indeed escape. They had a franchise QB, they had a franchise defender, and then they got a franchise head coach. They went to the playoffs and they won a game. They looked brighter than they had in 2 decades. This was it.

Then they stumbled a bit. Baker got hurt but tried to play through it, OBJ got into a stupid public feud with him, it tore the locker room apart. OBJ gets dumped, and Baker finds himself at odds with many of the fans and apparently the front office over his attitude. That prompts the Browns to make that deal with the devil, to push Baker out and sign a “grown up” named Deshaun Watson. A highly sought after QB from Houston, and also a prolific sexual predator. The Browns give him the biggest contract in NFL history, give Houston a ton of picks, and gamble everything that this talented piece of human garbage is finally the piece they need to reach the promised land.

I’d say before the Watson deal, most neutral fans rooted for the Browns. I sure did. I love underdogs and I have some Browns fan ties in my family. Yes, it was a pity-based support for most of us, something that plenty of Browns fans didn’t exactly like, but it was support nonetheless. All of it vanished the instant they signed nasty man. Any sympathy, any understanding, any respect any of us had…it was gone. Instantly. Poof! I think a lot of us hoped that this despicable move would not work, and the Browns would not reap the benefits of their gamble. Many of us hoped this would backfire.

We got our wish. Boy howdy!

Watson fucking stinks. Not even regular NFL stinks, he stinks historically. He stinks historically…FOR THE BROWNS. We are witnessing maybe the greatest Find Out to the worst Fuck Around in NFL history. And the funniest part? There’s basically no way out. The Browns jumped on the Titanic and steered it straight for Watson Iceberg. His first season the excuse for his poor play was rust. He spent two years away from the game embroiled in a major scandal. Last year it was injury. This year? Well, the offensive line has some issues and injuries to teammates are a problem but it is still explicitly clear: Watson is the problem. He’s a fucking disaster. And there is nothing the Browns can do.

This is why I think this might be the nadir of New Browns. Unlike the Hue Tank era, this was a large fall from grace. Unlike the Hue Tank era, this roster is actually talented and playoff-caliber outside the QB. Unlike the Hue Tank era, nobody is rooting for them, and most of us are throwing our heads back and laughing our asses off. Unlike the Hue Tank Era…the light at the end of the tunnel feels so much farther away and filled with less promise than ever. This fucking anvil of a contract will sink this team no matter what (outside the slim chance of suspension) for at least two more years. By the time they get rid of nasty man, the roster and the window they built might be over. No matter what they do, he’s just going to be sitting there, soaking up half the salary cap, damaging this team in so many ways. In the meantime, the team reached the playoffs with Joe Flacco. Baker Mayfield is playing like a star in Tampa. You sit at the bottom of a dumpster.

It is…hilarious. Fuck you, Haslam. You deserve it. All the fans who cast their morality aside to defend nasty man because you have to defend every player on your favorite team no matter what deserve this. You threw your weight behind this nasty man, you defended him in comment sections across the web, you are the ones who have to sit there and watch the object of your affection stink it up and ruin the team you love so much.

As for everyone else? They are who I feel sorry for. I feel sorry for the Browns fans who felt conflicted, to the ones who decided to quiet quit the team for a while, and the ones who were just trying to get through it by accepting that the team is more than Watson. I feel bad for the players, who have to work with Watson, who have to go out there and block for him, to catch his passes, to coach him, as he brings negative value to the franchise. They have careers and hopes too, and they are suffering maybe even more than the fans are. I feel bad for the coaches, and the other franchise employees who had no say in the signing who have to go and do their best every day for this. At least Amari Cooper escaped.

If the Browns do the right thing and bench Watson, it is essentially admitting defeat. You won’t get anyone to trade for him. You can’t cut him due to the dead money hit. You sit his ass on the bench (to play another rapist instead!) and you admit to the world that you are a colossal fuckup. Haslam isn’t going to let that happen. Suck cost fallacy. We might be watching weeks of this over and over. I do think Watson will be benched at some point if he stays healthy (and maybe Stefanski is trying to get him hurt, who knows). Even with the other problems on offense, you have to at least see what Jameis can do. This level of QB play is untenable.

My prediction? Once it finally reaches a wildfire level so hot that Haslam has to face the music, Watson will be benched and they will try to play it off as a temporary thing. Maybe they play up a mild injury. Maybe they say “Watson needs a week or so to set himself straight”. They won’t admit it’s because he sucks. They will bench his ass, hope to god Jameis is better, and then “keep going with the hot hand” or keep playing his injury up. Watson won’t give a shit. He’s getting paid either way. I hope it happens sooner rather than later. As fun as it is to watch Watson get wrecked, I’d still rather not watch him at all.

This is a hell of your own making, Browns. I never thought you could find a way to make it worse, and you did.