Fallout Football
Apr17
on April 17, 2024
at 12:01 am
Time for another edition in “guess what media Dave’s been watching lately”
I’m like halfway through the show. It’s alright. Matt Berry as Mr Handy was inspired casting.
This was mostly just an excuse to screw around. The Vault-Tec color scheme rules, like a better version of the Rams.
Not going to lie, I had a shower thought of a Fallout set in Texas with 4 vaults that must compete in football every Friday Night. Also imagined a vault that has a computer that controls a Tornado and the dwellers have to sever the computer.
I get the home jersey but the yellow line is the middle is kinda weird but cool ideas. P.S I have never played a fallout game before so my knowledge is minimal
Football is canonically played in Star Wars, in fact there are 2 different types of Football played. The first type is known as “Nuna Ball”, which has the same rules has Football (looser contact rules), but played by droids, and the ball is a member of the Nuna Species (small Swamp Turkeys from Naboo) since it inflates its body when it gets angry. The sport became popular after the droid invasion of Naboo (or Episode 1) when droid manufacturing companies started using nuna-ball matches as product benchmark stress test.The game can be briefly seen during the bar scene in episode 2, which sees the QB getting sacked. The game is still being played as of A New Hope.
The other type of Football is regular gridiron football. In the Clone Wars episode: Battle of Ryloth, a newsfeed says “is the 2nd most popular sport after football” implying that football (not soccer) is the most popular sport in the galaxy, among humans anyway.
I was following until you said ‘Naboo.’ That’s the point at which the entire prequel trilogy flashes before my eyes, and I fall over into seizures, my body covered in cold sweat. Must… get to… Red Letter… Media… channel… help me, Mr. Plinkett, you’re my only hope! *vomits uncontrollably*
Oh come on the Prequel Trilogy wasn’t that bad! Jar Jar sucked, the Anakin/Padme is the worst romance ever put on screen, and some of the dialogue was questionable. But everything else ranges from fine to masterclass. I feel like they get overhated because just how good the original trilogy is. TPM and ATOC are average movies at best but atleast ROTS was amazing!
Part of me feels a level of facetiousness coming out of you, as if you know and agree with what I’m about to say. It’s very hard to take that “but at least ROTS was amazing!” seriously. LOL.
In short, I am a person for whom the prequel trilogy has exactly ONE redeeming factor. Darth Maul. Just about ANYTHING else you point to? Awful. Vader “building” 3PO? Padme dying of a ‘broken heart’? Anakin turning evil because… he had a bad dweam? Dexter Jettster’s 1950s diner? The plot? How George desperately wanted everything to “rhyme,” when what he really meant was, “I’m going to copy/paste what I did over here over to there.” Yoda going from being a wise and cunning sage to a hyper spastic wall-bouncing gremlin? Having the force be a bacteria count? George’s ‘masterclass’ filming, in which he has people talking… talking at a table, talking while slowly walking down hallways, or talking on couches… all of which was filmed in the most basic highschool-level shot/reverse shot manner. All of these things are an abomination in my eyes, lol. Except for the cg scenes, which are just seizure-inducing visual noise. No, my friend, the prequel trilogies are where Star Wars went TO DIE. And the sequel trilogy is where Disney tried to raise the corpse from the ground and make it dance.
You are calling the World Building bad? The Pod Racing Scene? Anakin slaughtering the Tusken raiders? Battle of Geonosis? The Clone Wars? Battle of Coruscant? The Galactic Republic becoming the Empire? Order 66? Sidious being a masterclass of a villain? Obi Wan? Battle of the Heroes? The ending of Revenge of the Sith? Which has it’s very own Ted Talk about endings?
Yes the prequels aren’t perfect, but they aren’t bad especially ROTS. When you’re complaining about small stuff such as Dexter’s Diner and Vader building C3P0, that’s being facetiousness, if anything.
Ok, so full disclosure, this is like, half me having a completely legitimate foaming-at-the-mouth rage upon my keyboard, lol, and half me just having fun getting an opportunity to make fun of The Prequels, because I love making fun of them. Also, apologies Dave, cuz we’ve full on derailed your train at this point. XD
*deeeeeeeeeeeeeep breeeeeeeeeeeeath*
Pod Racing wasn’t world building, it was a reskin of Ben-Hur. Waaaaaaaaaay too long and needlessly ground the movie to a screeching halt. Geonosis was seizure-inducing white noise, there wasn’t even a plot, it was just “They took our friends, we must attack them in a battle arena.” The Clone Wars sucked. There’s this dude. And, uhhhhh, they cloned him. A lot. And then, they, like, fought some bugs until some old dude came up with an edgy 666-but-not-quite-order to immediately murder all Jedi in the span of 5 seconds. The Galactic Republic becoming the Empire? You mean when Palpatine said, “Jar Jar, I need emergency powers,” and then Jar Jar was like, “Da man who looka and sounda like Darth Sidious needa him some powers!” Obi Wan is turned into a buffoon, but I’ll grant you, Ewan did the most with what little he was given. I don’t even know what the Battle of the Heroes is… is that when Anakin killed all the younglings because that’s OBVS what you do in order to save your wife? Sidious is a masterclass villain? He didn’t even TRY to disguise himself, the Jedi were just IDIOTS. All he did was cackle and tell Anakin some dude learned to overcome death once… maybe. And then throw some desks at the bouncing green spastic gremlin while cackling some more. The ending of Revenge of the Sith? When Padme dies of sadness after giving birth to two perfectly healthy twins because OBVIOUSLY she has nothing to live for? Or when Anakin has all his limbs cut off, and is just lying on burning coals and SOMEHOW survives hours/days until Palpatine shows up in his space ambulance and takes him to the Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction Center (it’s a real thing, lulz). Or do you mean when Vader has the most embarrassingly awful and frequently mocked “NOOOOOOOOOOOooooo!” of any “No!” that’s ever been “No’d”, realizing he’s been tricked because he’s a complete buffoon but then going along with it all anyway. Or maybe when Obi Wan “””hides””” Luke by giving him to the closest relatives of the Emperor’s Pit Bull, and then doesn’t even bother changing his name? Or when Yoda just GIVES UP and says, “Oh well, we had a good run” and then just hides in a swamp for 40 years. Anyone can have a Ted Talk. I can go sign up for a Ted Talk about why I like to eat molasses.
I was complaining about the small stuff because the big giant stuff is OBVIOUSLY bad. Like 99% of the plot, the characters, just about everything. The Jedi as a concept are incredibly stupid. “So Obi Wan in Episode IV was wearing this robe, because he’s in the desert and trying to blend in. So what if we make it rhyme, by having ALL Jedi wear these robes? That way Obi Wan wasn’t in hiding at all, he was screaming to everyone who looked at him, “HEY, I’M A JEDI!” And ok, so Obi Wan goes through this spontaneous bit of training for Luke with a blaster helmet. What if we make it rhyme, and have a room full of small children doing THE EXACT SAME THING?” Also, these children, at 3 years old, are going to sacrifice ALL emotions from their lives, except rage and sadness. Those are ok. But a positive emotion like romantic love?! AWWWWW HELLLLLLLLZ NAW!!!!! *rage slaps the bejeezus out of Anakin* YOU ARE STUPID! DON’T BE EMOTIONAL!!! STUUUUUPID!!!!! I HATE YOU SO MUCH ANAKIN!!!!!” *slap slap* And what about the force being this spiritual energy that surrounds us and binds us, and we need to look deep into ourselves to tap into it and be able to do— NAHHHHHH. It’s just bacteria. That way they can statistically determine whether you can do anything right at birth. Screw spirituality, if you don’t have a high enough bacterial infection – no force for you!!!!!
*ahem* Anyway, I recommend you go watch Red Letter Media’s 8-12 hr long opus on how bad the Prequels are. It’s a real chef’s kiss.
Like Boolio in Rise of Skywalker, I must defend Dexter Jettster and his 1950s diner. Fun character, solid scene, and some of Lucas’ better dialogue (OK, not a high bar there). Silly setting sure, but I don’t really see the problem with that. Why shouldn’t Star Wars characters be able to go somewhere and get meatloaf or corned beef hash?
Jettster was also a phenomenal left tackle in Star Wars action figure football, those extra arms really proved clutch in keeping the surprisingly buff Sandtrooper and EV-9D9 (the Aaron Donald and JJ Watt of SW action figure football) out of the backfield.
In an isolated bacta tank, I’d agree with you, billytheskink. Dexter Jettster and his 1950s diner certainly wasn’t lacking for fun. But when – in my opinion, anyway – the entire prequel trilogy is rudderless and lacking any clear visual or narrative direction, going with a generic retro-futuristic 1950s space diner just further eats away at any attempt at producing a coherent aesthetic, and I feel is just one more building block in Star Wars becoming this mostly unrecognizable gray mush of a product with no real visual identity beyond “LIGHTSABERS!” If you just look at a random frame from Dexter Jettster’s, there is absolutely nothing in it that definitively screams “Star Wars”. It’s just a generic diner. You could insert it into Spaceballs or Guardians of the Galaxy and it would fit in just fine.
I will admit, though, if they made a stop motion show about Star Wars action figure football, I’d be very interested in giving it a watch, lol.
My actual problem with the Star Wars prequels is that the characters and writing are largely just absolutely awful, which ends up with me not really liking or caring about them, which ends up in the whole house of cards collapsing when I can’t really invest into the world or what’s happening in it. I could forgive all the plainly idiotic and indulgent nonsense George Lucas hamfistedly stuffed into those garbage movies…if only I had some reason to care and could find myself actually enjoying them. But I don’t, and all the unnaturally over-choreographed and/or computer-generated action scenes really does nothing to help with it, never mind that all three films are shot as flat and unexciting as humanly possible because the director filmed the entire trilogy on a green screen film set while lazily sitting down in a chair behind a computer screen. Horrible, and it’s kind of hilarious that there are still Star Wars fans out there that insist they’re ackshually really not that bad. Yeah, the Disney sequel series sucks for a whole host of other distinct reasons, but that doesn’t retroactively make the prequel series any good.
It’s good to know my Star Wars action figure football games could conceivably be canon… Well, maybe not the games where Plo Koon would hand the ball off to Kit Fisto for 6 yards before being tackled by Admiral Ackbar and Biggs Darklighter.
Any football team that Vault Tec creates will not be a perfectly functional team. There’s going to be some kind of experimt done to the team. Maybe they’ll lose their cool during critical moments and just murder the other team
Also, if by alright you’re saying you haven’t played Fallout before, start with New Vegas, it’s the best one especially with the TTW mod.
He’s played Fallout before and has even made a comic about New Vegas. https://www.thedrawplay.com/comic/the-raiders-will-control-vegas/
Since he said New Vegas is a “very good video game”, Dave’s probably not going to like the way the show treats it (and 1 and 2).
As a diehard Fallout fan I must say the show is… pretty good. I’m surprised; I didn’t think they had it in them to just tell some stories. I’m not happy about them making major retcons to the NCR (and I guess the entirety of the west coast). Seriously, they could have set the show anywhere, and they picked the one area of the world that has tons of long established canon. But Todd Howard is going to Todd Howard.
Aside from that I’m happy we didn’t get some paint by the numbers CW-style show with Fallout flavoring.
Case Cookus
Comic idea: because half the league is revealing new uniforms next week maybe predict what they will look like? It would be cool to se updated uniform concepts
I haven’t gotten to it yet, but I’ll watch just about anything with Walton Goggins in it
This reminds me that I was once in a Fallout RP set in the Midwest. Each player was their own respective faction; my faction was the Cheesehead Pack, which, as the name implied, was the survivors of Green Bay who ended up taking the Packers fandom into a quasi religious reverence. Even used retired numbers as a sort of religious sigil that was meant to evoke said player and their blessing (14 was invoked by couriers to give safe passages on their routes, 12 by snipers for long range shots, 92 for sheer demolition, etc). The actual faction was slumming it in Lambeau itself, where the hall of fame was turned into a religious shrine and the field itself left undisturbed for ritual games.
It was a lot of fun. Shame the thing ended rather inconclusively. Most of the action ended up on the other side of the map from me as well so I didn’t really do much besides create a bunch of lore and being chill with the only other player in Wisconsin.
Missed opportunity to show a linebacker using the VATS system for tackling