Cam Newton Joins The Evil Empire, Just As Predicted
Ugh. Of course he did. Why would we ever expect otherwise. Now watch him be perfectly healthy for the first time in years and flourish under Emperor Billpotine. At least we’ll all be dead by 2021.
I think everything will depend on his health. It’s been easy to write Cam off after his last few seasons thanks to poor play and injury. He’s looked toasted. I thought he was done last season before it came out that he was still playing injured. The future of Cam Newton depends entirely on his health. I have zero doubts that he’s better than the pile of mashed potatoes the Patriots call Jason Stidham. Cam earned MVP by being a bruiser of a QB who wowed us with running plays and unconventional style but I think people forget the guy was actually a good passer too. Cam could rip it and give it nice touch. He could read a defense and execute a play. Cam in his peak was a hell of a good QB, and in 2015 he was truly great.
It’s not like he did it with a ton of weapons either. The Patriots current lack of offensive power is certainly a major sticking point but it’s not like Cam hasn’t made due with piles of shit before. He earned the MVP in 2015 with Ted Ginn as his best WR. Cam can turn turds into gold. If you look back at that 2015 roster the offense is startlingly ugly. I just have my doubts that Cam will ever be truly great again. The years of big hits have caught up to him and the fact that a former MVP had to get a mild 1 year deal, months after free agency started, that is incentive-laden over guaranteed, says a lot. If he’s back in business the Patriots look like the usual geniuses they are. If not, it barely costs them much on a year that’s likely to be wonky and forgive-able anyway. That’s what smart franchises do. *Glares at the Bears*
I’d say have a great 4th of July tomorrow but lol at this stupid country. I’ve never felt less patriotic in my life.
This comic seems like an idea you had that just completely got away from you. In other words, f’ing incredible. Also, for July 4th, I’m gonna hang a banner outside my house that says ALL COUNTRIES MATTER.
all planets matter you planeticist
wont someone think of neptune
You know there are other celestial bodies than just planets in the omniverse…jerk.
These comics just get better and better. And better. And better
Come on up to New England. We have sanity, less COVID-19 and now Cam Newton. Just wear a mask and know that you are required, at times, to be an asshole. It’s what it is.
Oh yeah, this is the corona content I needed but didn’t deserve
I disagree that he’s that good of a passer, he’s always been fairly inaccurate until Norv Turner got there, then he started to really get cooking before injuries derailed him.
so, what youre saying is
you go from skinny nerd to jacked pirate complete with gold teeth in 6 months? who’s even going to have healthcare to pay for gold teeth in 6 months
I interpreted that as stained teeth due to lack of hygiene.
good point
the pirate thought must have distracted me
my other point re: nerd fap to thirst trap still stands
Who said he got them legally? He is a pirate, after all.
The other 31 teams in the league have no one to blame but themselves. Only silver lining is that Cam hasn’t had a full off season to work with the Pats.
There’s something very Rickety Cricket about your transformation here, Dave.
What’s with the sports news bringing up an old news about Pats fan stealing SB 42 rings?
The real question is will we still be getting these amazing comics even when you’re a one-armed pirate
Jason Stidham? Is he the transporter?
So Cam with the Pats…interesting. I also think Mr. Rappocio needs to check himself. He probably needs something to help him cope with reality.
I misplaced my jar of toenail clippings
They’re gonna run a two QB, halfback, fullback, scatback, two TE offense
I feel like you have one too many Daves in here.
So, “August was a cakewalk” is September Dave.
“So was September” is October Dave.
But then “None of you are ready for October” is… also October Dave?
It doesn’t add up, good sir.
if it DID add up, it wouldn’t add up.
I always like how much Kelvin Benjamin actually hurt that offense. If he gets back to 95% of 2015 Can, he’s going to kill in New England.
BB is on the other end of that portal
Sigh, I’m going to reiterate the same thing that I say to every single person that says that America is a gigantic stupid shithole. Just fucking move to Canada, or whatever country you think is the absolute utopia. No one’s stopping you. America is having some problems right now, but it is not an absolute shithole like some actual shithole countries.
1- didn’t say America is a giant stupid shithole, thats some quality projection. I called us stupid and said I wasnt feeling patriotic. I think things can get better and can be worked towards, that is a belief that can be held while thinking the country is being stupid and bad, especially right now. Im not proud of my country right now, but I think it can get better.
2- maybe next time you want to tell people to just move countries, maybe take some time to consider how difficult that actually is? To just uproot from family, deal with the monetary expense, have to go through the added stress of finding ways to move legitimately, finding ways to stay…you say this like moving even to Canada is like switching apartments. Just switching countries is a move for the privileged or the extremely desperate, not a reasonable option for most
>Just fucking move to Canada, or whatever country you think is the absolute utopia. No one’s stopping you.
Yes, they are. You know how the US has this whole big no illegal immigrants thing going on? Just about every other country is like that, too. You can’t just pack up your shit and move to Canada any damn time you’d like. Gotta get Canada’s permission first and good luck with that.
Isn’t trump the one that said he was going to make America great again? That implies that he thought it wasn’t great. Maybe he should have taken his supporters and gone to whatever country they thought was great.
US = 1/20 of the world’s population.
US = 1/4 of all covid deaths. (129k out of 528k according to WHO)
And if our runaway pandemic problems don’t satisfy you, we have cops murdering black people in broad daylight on camera and not giving two fucks, then assaulting the elderly and lying about it. The President is more interested in his polling numbers, crawling out of his bunker for a Bible photo op, and protecting monuments to actual traitors than in helping restore a nation in crisis.
If the massive gaping leadership hole LITERALLY killing HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of our citizens doesn’t qualify us as *THE* giant stupid deadly shithole to beat all giant stupid shitholes right now, I’d love to know what country would. I would feel safer in North Korea. Kim Jong-un looks like JFK compared to Donald, who has turned America into a Trumpster fire. Wocka wocka… *sobs*
Really? “My country, love it or leave it?” That’s your position?
The United States was literally *founded* on the presumption that, if you don’t like the government, you can change it. And the Constitutional system is set up to permit nearly constant reconfiguration (usually via the vote, but also some extraordinary measures) of our government.
And at least one (depending upon your politics) of the Amendments enshrined in our Bill of Rights is *specifically there* to ensure our right to complain.
“My country, love it or leave it” is one of the most embarrasingly anti-American positions anyone — right or left — can espouse
I was really kinda hoping we’d see cyborg Dave emerge from December!
2020 has sucked in many ways, but it is becoming a banner year for Draw Play comics.
No commentary, but this made me laugh out loud. Thanks Dave.
I feel like you missed an opportunity here to include one final panel in which the Pats won the superbowl after this season and Cam got MVP. Right before the world ended.